Something I’ve improved while being in my 20s is figuring out how to take care of myself. To do this, the idea of ‘dating myself’ has been helpful.
I spent from from ages 14 to 22 distracting myself from my feelings through restricting my eating, overexercising or overeating. Gosh. I wish someone would have come into my life and been like, “Hey! Do you know there are literally HUNDREDS of other coping mechanisms for dealing with your stress and anxiety other than undereating, overeating or overexercising? You could probably be a pretty epic person if you started taking care of yourself.”
But no one said that to me. Or maybe they did and I wasn’t willing to listen in the state I was in. Eventually, after I came out of the disordered eating/eating disorder fog, I created a pool of self care activities I can jump into when I need a way to comfort myself. I shared my 13 favorite self-care practices a while ago.
In the last 4 years, I feel like I’ve finally been getting to know myself. And the best way I can describe it is like I’ve started dating myself. I’ve started to ask myself “What do you feel?” and “What do you need?” Much like you would ask another person if you are in a relationship with them and trying to know how to best care for them. So. I’m in a relationship with myself. In this relationship of one, I’ve realized…
How do I give this person love?
How do I make them feel valued?
Where can I take them to make them feel joy?
What makes them sad? What makes them depressed?
I’ve finally started paying attention to who I am and what I need. For me, part of dating myself has meant taking myself to coffee shops and answering those 4 above questions. I hope you start dating yourself too.