The art of creating coziness for yourself.
Sunday night Hummusapien texted me and said, “Have you heard of the word “hygge?” You would love it.”
So I googled “hygge” (pronounced “hue-gah”) and found it was a Danish word that doesn’t have a direct translation, but Wikipedia describes the noun “hygge” as a state where all psychological needs are in balance. Then I came across this blog that explained hygge as “the art of creating intimacy either with yourself, friends or your home.” OMGSH. The art of creating intimacy with yourself…that is what I’m all about…getting to know and then taking excellent care of yourself. Hello, self care web.
When you’re in your eating disorder, you squander all your energy dissociating from the world while trying to become smaller and smaller. Going through college with an ED meant I dissociated from all my emotions (and all of life) and didn’t nurture my psychological needs because I was too busy feeling numb from controlling my food/feeling crazy about my weight/overexercising/bingeing/etc. College is the time you’re supposed to be connecting to your values/creativity/spirit, but those 3 factors couldn’t develop in me until I chose to move away from my ED. And to move away from my ED I had to accept the fact that there was some uncertainty in the body size I would end up at and I was just going to have to accept that or spend my life miserable.
In my ED, I wasn’t creating an atmosphere in myself where my values/creativity/spirit could grow. I feel like my values/creativity/spirit were planted deep inside me, but they weren’t being watered. They weren’t in an environment where they could flourish. They just stayed silent and buried inside of me waiting to be nourished (literally and figuratively).
Now, being on the recovered end of the ED recovery spectrum, it feels good to be in a relationship where I take care of myself. I’ve built a relationship with myself where I allow myself to do the things I like and not do the things I hate. I’ve “dated myself” and as a result have fostered a coziness in my body and environments I’m in that promotes psychological wellbeing where my values/creativity/spirit CAN bloom. That last past “a cozy atmosphere that promotes psychological wellbeing” is another definition of “hygge” that I came across. Doesn’t that sound so lovely?
I don’t think it’s worth spending your life trapped in your disordered eating and/or unhealthy relationship with exercise…never getting to meet the full and complete version of yourself. In your eating disorder/disordered eating you aren’t creating a cozy atmosphere for yourself that promotes psychological wellbeing. When you are choosing your ED/disordered eating, you are creating “uhyggeliga” (the antonym of hygge), which translates to “scary.” So in your ED you are creating a scary atmosphere for yourself that does not promote psychological wellbeing. Hmm. I choose a cozy place for myself and I hope you do to.
What are the tips you have for creating a sense of coziness with yourself, your friends, your family, your work environment, or your home?
For me, my sense of coziness with myself comes from having good self-care habits.