Meet my contributor, Kimmy!!!
Hi guys! Happy Friday!
Today I wanted to give my new contributor a chance to introduce herself to you! She has some great insight into mindfulness and awareness that I’m excited for her to share with me and you. I’m very careful about who I bring into immaEATthat and I’m very excited about having Kimmy with me. Below I asked Kimmy to introduce herself to you. I bolded some sentences below where I especially love what she wrote. Without further ado, here’s Kimmy…
Hellloo lovely human beans! My name is Kimmy, I’m Kylie’s newest contributor and I am so psyched to be here. About a month ago, I took a leap of faith, and now here I am!
Some scattered thoughts about me: I’m half Italian by blood, but my heart, hand gestures and appetite are 100% Italian, I’m a UCLA student, a klutz, a sister, and a lover of all things colorful. I love the sweet and the savory equally but adore the sour. I love the feeling right before falling asleep, history factoids, and the arrivals gate in airports. Old couples make my heart happy, the smell of books make me feel calm, and everything about beaches at dusk make me feel content. But most of all, I find comfort and connection with the world in the fact that there is no emotion we hold that another human has not also felt, and I think that is what made me connect so much with the honesty and heart in Kylie’s posts.
Like most people, I’ve lived all my life with a story running through my mind that was running the show. It weighed me down, terrorized me and froze me. If you find your passion and be perfect, you can be happy forever. Ah, how simple, of course! I just must not be trying hard enough. How many times have we told ourselves this?
I have lived through crippling bouts of anxiety, self-doubt, and depression, and eventually, these manifested physically in an eating disorder halfway through my first year of college. It took moving home, deep therapy, meditation, self-expression and exploration of my inner world to begin to untangle myself from the negative thoughts that were never serving me and pursue thoughts that would empower and nourish me.
I believe that life makes house calls in our lives, either through grief, pain, discovery, transition, or transformation (whether chosen or not), and that it is up to us to decide whether we will welcome life in as a visitor. After hearing what life has to say, we must then choose whether we will join in on the adventure or instead choose to show life to the door. When we follow life, we will emerge on the other side changed, sometimes subtly, sometimes in enormous ways, but always armed with new information and awareness. If we instead refuse, we will spend our whole lives bracing against the door, fighting to keep life out.
This process can be anxious, it can be frightening, but it can also be exhilarating. We can fine tune our abilities to distinguish between the call of our intuition and our ego, and act in accordance with our intuition, because it will never guide us astray. Our ego speaks with a rigid, strong voice (hello, old exercise routines and food rules in my case), while our intuition creeps in softly, and makes us feel open and expansive (ah, welcome, social spontaneity and flexibility around food). It may not lead us in the direction we think we must go or the direction that fits our plan, but ultimately, we will find ourselves in the place we were meant to be.
If we instead plow forwards according to what our ego dictates, we will eventually find ourselves plagued by depression, anger, resentment, or any other host of ailments until we finally change our approach. Talking with others has made me realize that anyone who has undergone a life or spiritual transformation knows this to be true. Their pain always proved to be the symptom, the catalyst for some sort of enlightening change.
Opening up to these things has allowed me to break out of the fearful neighborhoods of my mind and uncover big interests and little everyday things that really light my soul on fire–snorkeling, painting, going to the farmer’s market, vacuuming out my car (hah, no, wishful thinking). When I move into these fearful neighborhoods, I become blocked and feel stuck and empty; even today, that’s one of my warning signals. Expansion and light moves away, and that’s no way to live a vibrant, meaningful life.
If any of you are currently struggling with mental health or feelings around food, my heart goes out to you, but I also send you all my encouragement and faith.
In moments when it feels impossible, someone I look up to once told me to picture myself as a little girl and fight to make each decision one that would best take care of her, and that’s been some darn good advice.
I make time to dabble in the things that let me feel like me, because self-care is not indulgent or an every-once-in-a-while thing. I try to pay attention to the thoughts running through my mind, and repeat three affirmations in my head before I fall asleep each night. I write out things I learn about myself and the world, things that make me relieved or disappointed, things that make me feel like a connected member of humanity, and re-read them down the line.
It has taken hurricanes and earthquakes for me to be ready to listen, to trust my mind and my body to take care of me. This is not to say that from here on out will be smooth sailing and that I have magically discovered the elixir for perfect happiness because life is constantly fluctuating, and everything has its ebbs and flows. But not even hurricanes and earthquakes will be able to take away these new guiding understandings.
Thanks for sticking with the rambles of a 20-something…putting this together was so-so-so fun, talk soon! :)
Thank you so much, Kimmy, for introducing yourself!
I’ll see you all back here next week :)