Why I created my own personal commandments
Hey, guys! Kimmy is back with a post today. Enjoy!
When I was trapped in the deepest pit of my struggles, I was obeying a set of rules that functioned as the proverbial salt stinging my wounds. They decreed that I had failed to become the woman I was supposed to be, therefore I had no right to fight the pain I was feeling. Then, one day (bless that day) I finally realized, um, no, f*** that. I am inherently and unconditionally worth so, so much more than constant desperation, terror and gray days…and you are to, just for being you.
If any of you have read Carolyn Costin’s books about recovery, you’re familiar with her Thin Commandments-basically, rules created and perpetuated by whatever disordered behavior you are engaging in to control your body (being in diet mentality definitely counts). Spoiler: they dictate your life and they’re pretty much the worst. Therefore, in the spirit of truly rebelling and trusting my own innate judgement, I have been compiling a set of my own personal commandments for myself to follow. Up until now, it’s been a mental list that I add to when inspiration strikes. But I plan to write them all out, add to them, edit them, rewrite them, rinse, and repeat. It’s silly, it’s serious, it’s cathartic and it reclaims my power.
I feel like making personalized commandments is something that everyone could benefit from. You do you. :)
Sidenote: my posts are never meant to be patronizing or like I have all the secrets of the universe to dish out…I’m just sharing the mostly surprising, sometimes confusing, but ultimately peace-bringing things that I’m doing as I stumble my way through this new season of my life in the hope that it might be hope-giving or resound with someone out there.
- Be Kimmy
- For better or for worse, it’s who I am, and I love myself for it.
- Nourish your cravings, both the emotional and the physical.
- Honor your inner wise woman, be kind to your inner child and respect your inner wild woman.
- Know your “tell”.
- For me, in this season of life, this means being more mindful when I start to seek comfort in food, start to get over-busy, or start over-procrastinating
- Start collecting your own Secrets to Adulthood.
- Technically, they’re secret, but I’ll tell you this: most of them aren’t earth-shatteringly huge, some of them are as simple as remembering that splurging on fancy toilet paper is always worth the extra $2.
- Don’t let yourself hit Empty.
- Keep gas in the car, a stash of money, and eat before you get too hungry.
- Beware of the Fundamental Attribution Error
- The way I perceive people doesn’t mean that’s necessarily who they are.
- When you feel stuck, create something.
- Do share your feelings. Do not apologize for them.
- Stand tall, it changes your energy.
- Your comfort zone is not your comfort zone.
- The voices inside all of us no doubt serve a purpose, but sometimes that purpose is just to keep us safe. And I have decided that right now, safe is not a place I need to confine myself to. I need exhilarating. I need scary, I need painful, I need joy.
Some things I have discovered since I started becoming mindful of my rules:
- I start to feel more pride & more in charge of my life
- I’m starting to realize what it means to set boundaries…because I am picking myself.
- I’ve started to make more courageous and confident in my decisions.
- I genuinely enjoy being with myself….who ever would have thunk??
- I’m noticing little things, and they make me really happy. Like a couple words of a groovy song from the rolled down window of the car next to me, or seeing two elderly sisters holding hands…my heart just screams yes!
Do you have any personal self-care commandments you live by?