Sep 21

A great big farewell to routines and expectations on my birthday.

Kimmy is back today with a post. I hope you enjoy!


This past weekend was my 21st birthday…WOOT WOOT. No, but actually, being the grandma that I am (and proud of it!!!) I had a super sweet birthday without going full-on crazy. It did get me thinking, though. I definitely did feel pressure for my 21st birthday to be the end-all be-all of birthday celebrations.  I felt there was an expectation that my 21st birthday should look a certain way / follow the typical 21st birthday routines that others have.

There’s a reason why humans are creatures of habit. Routines create a sense of mental security. They help us create order and minimize risk. But at some point, jumping in blindly is worth it. Breaking routines and our own expectations actually usually creates the opposite effects than what we think will happen. It’s proven that creativity and productivity is boosted following these moments. It’s also easier to break out of your boundaries in the future. This process is called productive discomfort–basically, over time, your tolerance for anxiety will increase, as will your cognitive flexibility.

So my 21st birthday looked like…

I ate cupcakes the minute it was officially my birthday with a glass of champagne. I had a cupcake for breakfast with my roommate the next morning, and a mimosa when I got home. I had an ice blended daiquiri (honestly they could have given me a virgin drink and I wouldn’t have known the difference) with appetizers at lunch, and I enjoyed numerous sweet treats and silly drinks throughout the afternoon. I definitely ate past hunger cues, but honestly, I was eating for pleasure, for taste, and for the memories. I am 1000% sure that if I hadn’t, I would have felt deprived. I wore the silly crown my sister bought me and I let my family spoil me. I got goosebumps from the sweet and funny messages I received throughout the day.

When I was struggling hard, I never would have allowed myself a day like this, or if I had, I would have been future-tripping about the consequences of each and every thing and wouldn’t even have been able to enjoy any of it. On this birthday, I had every intention of treating myself like my own best friend, though, so I did. Because I wanted to set an intention for the rest of the year.

….but I still rush past the wine aisle in Trade Joe’s because I keep expecting someone to tell me that I can’t be there.

….aaaand this is how my mom forever immortalized me ending my birthday by putting on a nose strip because pore-care is self care, am I right?

What are some of the routines and expectations you’ve said farewell to or are trying to say farewell to?

5 comments on “A great big farewell to routines and expectations on my birthday.”

  1. I felt the same way on my 21st birthday. I was taking organic chemistry as my summer course, so I had to attend class on my actual birthday. My mom had passed away three years prior, and my dad and step-mom live in TX. So not having them there was hard. My family has a lot of alcoholism in it, so I have chosen not to drink. So leading up to my birthday, I didn’t know what to plan plus I was in the thick of my controlling/disordered eating. Sooo it wasn’t a great day. Haha. Not to be such a Debbie downer! But all this to say that I felt I was supposed to live up to this expectation, but instead, I just did what I felt was right for me at the time. I love how you were able to celebrate yours in a way that was true to yourself. Happy belated birthday!

  2. Happy belated birthday! My 26th (AH!) birthday is Saturday and I think I might copy your cupcake and mimosa breakfast.

    I’m in the midst of a massive life change and it’s mega uncomfortable right now. I feel that by 26 I should have shit “figured out”, but alas, I feel like I’m 21 again and confused about my life path ;) I’m learning say farewell to the idea that my life is supposed to look a certain way at this age and just enjoy the ride.

  3. I adore this post, and your birthday sounds wonderful :) I hope you have a fantastic and magical 21st year!!! Love love love your attitude towards living your life for YOU and making the choices that feel most right for you. I feel like at this time in our life, with college and everything, it’s so easy to go down the rabbit hole of comparison and trying to be someone else, but you’re so so good at maintaining your integrity and authenticity and I love that :)

    • Girl, you are THE sweetest, I love you already! Being genuine and expansive is definitely what I work towards, so I’m so happy to hear that shines through in my posts for you! p.s I am also obsessed with the Myers-Brigg test, my roommates and I spent like an hour talking about it over ice cream the other night ;)

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