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our week…

Hi guys.  My goal this week was to make it through Monday night without breaking down crying on the bathroom floor…and I did it! This motherhood stuff is rough.  The 3 Mondays prior had been tough.  For a couple reasons come Monday night I am just DONE.  I think Andrew and I have a better handle on it now…at  least until something with Jo changes again.

A big help was I went to a mom’s group at church on Monday for a couple hours and really enjoyed getting to be around other moms.  The responsibility of motherhood seems less daunting when I’m surrounded by other moms who are navigating the baby and toddler years too.  It just feels so nice to be around other people who are popping out boobs and bottles to feed babies.  I see them do it and I immediately feel less overwhelmed.  

This week our nanny is on vacation so Sally and my mom are helping me out with childcare while I see clients/take a break from caring for Jo.  I’m loving her outfit below.  It was a gift from Layne from Kate Quinn. SO CUTE. 

Oh…I’m going to stop explaining who people in my life are because I think you who read the blog regularly probably know who is who.  Layne is my big sister.  Sally is Andrew’s mom.  Quinn is my little sister.  Molly is Andrew’s sister.

Breakfast

Most of my breakfasts are eaten on the floor right next to Jojo.  Yesterday was cheesy eggs + a latte + leftover cherry crumble that Sally had made.

Lunch

I’ve been craving pizza, which is so nice because during pregnancy and for most of postpartum I hadn’t had that many cravings for anything.  MOD pizza it was!

I went with their Caspian pizza, which has BBQ sauce, chicken, gorgonzola and other stuff.  And I added arugula.  I feel like I had forgotten about arugula for a while lol.  I love the stuff.  

There was an older man and his wife sharing a community-style table with me and when I took a picture of my pizza he made a loud comment to his wife about how Millennials can’t eat anything without taking a picture of it first.  To which I’m like, damn right.  Well…that’s what I said in my head.  That and “haven’t you heard that insulting the generation below you is THE MOST BORING way to age?!”…but then I ended up taking Jo out of her stroller for a conversation starter (no one can resist commenting on a baby) and then we talked for 30 minutes about their life/kids/house and it ends up we live 5 minutes from each other lol. AND I filled him in on what I do for work and how taking photos of my food plays into that.

I really love MOD pizza (I’ve heard good things about Blaze pizza too but have never been).  I know calorie counts on menus are everywhere and I really hate that for those of you who are really controlled by calorie counting.  I wrote a post about calorie counting a while ago and you can read it here.  I could careless about calories on menus now because I know my body doesn’t need numbers to know how to feed itself.  I just need my tastebuds and an awareness of what combination of foods make up a satisfying meal (i.e. a meal with protein, carbs, fat, dairy and fiber).

After pizza I fed Jo in the car.  I am so bored with feeding her only one food hah.  Excited for her to start being able to eat stuff other than milk! I know it won’t be as easy as just feeding her milk, but I am looking forward to it.

Then we went on a Target run and Jo had a lovely blowout inside the store, which has been happening pretty regularly this week.  So I think that’s a good size that it’s time to go up to the next diaper size! I had a change of clothes for her, but I was like you can just be naked for a bit.  That happens a lot lol.

The weather has been magical so me and Jo have been getting out for walks to the park as much as possible.  Molly gave us a MONKEY MAT (<–affiliate link) for Christmas and I love it.  The edges are weighed so it doesn’t fly away.  We are heading on our annual California trip on Saturday and it is definitely coming with us to the beach.

Everyone say hi to little Andrew…

Yesterday afternoon when Andrew got home I passed off Jo and went and saw a couple clients in the evening.  That won’t be a norm going forward, we just did it this week since our Nanny was gone.  Before he got home I got her ready for her date night with dad hehe.  I even pulled out a bow.  And Jojo pulled out her sassy face lol…

I’m definitely her favorite person and she’s a crying mess when I’m away from her.  I know it’ll get better.  I read this article on high needs infants. I resonated with a lot of it and found some of the tips really helpful.  I’m not sure if Jo is a high needs baby or a normal level of baby needs…but it seems like a lot to me hahhh.  I think any new mom who’s trying to adjust to the responsibility of motherhood could find that article helpful.  Also I wonder how much of Jo’s neediness is from her nature and how much is from nurture/my overhelping personality.  hmm….

dinners

Last night we had buttered pita bread (this was some frozen pita bread from Trader Joes…was good and would make a GREAT pizza base) + some goya bean soup + tomato-feta salad.  Kinda a random meal.

Another night recently Andrew whipped up salmon + salad + asiago croutons.  So tasty.

Then one night me and Jo hit up Chick-fila while Andrew as at his mens group.  Jojo be bummed her cup wasn’t as big as mine.

…just kidding.  It was just a milkshake sample they brought around :)

Hope you’re making it a good week!

28 comments

  1. Jojo sounds a lot like my babies. When Charlotte was born, she was intense from the get-go. Until she was 6 months old, I told anyone who would listen that “no one can make me have another baby!”. But then as she got older, her intensity mellowed and she grew into the most angelic toddler. The difficult infancy we went through together bonded us closely and now that she’s 13, we’re just as close.

    Oh, and I did want a second child once Charlotte was about 2 years old. Evan was just as intense as a baby but I had a huge bag of tricks to pull from since I’d survived Charlotte so it wasn’t nearly as big a deal. I was ready for him. After spending one night in the hospital with Evan and me, my mom said with panic in her voice, “I didn’t know you could get two babies like this.” LOL And Evan grew into the most adorable, tender hearted boy who would do anything for the people he loves.

    So, hang in there and know that you and Jojo (and Andrew) are forming bonds as you get through these hard times and those bonds will serve you well as you go forward into the years ahead. Hang in there… it gets easier. :)

  2. At 15 and 20, I’m STILL my daughters’ favorite person. ?

  3. Motherhood is a big job— You are awesome and doing great! Glad you found that church group.Be kind to you ❤️.
    I was a super needy baby (I’m 21 now) and I still talk to my mom multiple times a day. My younger sister was a very independent baby and has remained so. I bet on nature!

    • Thanks for sharing this, Mikey :) Made me smile because a big part of me wants a Lorelie-Rory-esque relationship with my daughter and this makes it sounds like we’re setting up perfectly for that hehe

  4. Just wanted to let you know that I think you have one of the cutest babies ever :)
    Also, wanted to say that as a future dietitian, your perspective on food etc. has been really healthy for me to learn from in the past year ish that I have been reading your blog – so thanks for that.

  5. She’s so stinking cute!!!!!!!! Loved this post! It’s so normal to feel overwhelmed especially in the first year. Mine just turned one and I am LOVING it. He’s amazing.

    Also quick question: how do you make your lattes? I bought the creamer you suggested and it’s awesome but I’m curious as to how you make lattes

    • Hey Sarah! We have an espresso maker so I just make a shot or two of espresso and then add a pour of creamer and a bunch of milk until I get the right taste :)

      • Thanks for replying! We make black silk Folger coffee and it’s amazing and really strong and dark. Works great for lattes!

  6. I would have had your first reaction to the “this generation” comments lol! I was out for coffee a while ago though and had to laugh – the table next to me was a group of old (60+, at least) men, all fully immersed in their smartphones. Not just our generation, I guess!

  7. Jojo couldn’t be any cuter!! Those expressions are beyond adorable. I appreciate your honesty, and do know that you are doing an amazing job in this new stage of your life! Take it moment by moment and just feel all the feelings and maintain your self-compassion. You are awesome, Kylie!

  8. I’m not a mom, but something I have heard is a helpful resource to other moms is a gym with childcare. I personally am a YMCA member, and I know they offer childcare for up to 2 hours at a time, and you can do any number of things while you are there that don’t have to be exercising. You could sit in the steam room/sauna, the pool, chapel, get a massage, or just use the WiFi and get some work done or browse the internet. It could be a good option for when your nanny/husband are unavailable and you just need a break or some ‘me’ time :) I can’t imagine how difficult the transition is to having a little one dependent on you 24/7. You do it with grace, Kylie!

    • Thanks for suggesting thing, Kristin! I just learned about a place to do yoga that offers free childcare and I think it could be really great for me. But love the comment of you don’t have to be exercising during that time and could just be sitting in the sauna with QUIET. Sounds really dreamy.

  9. You are an awesome mom, Kylie! It’s encouraging to see you bringing Jojo out in public so much – I hope to do the same so she gets used to it.

  10. So adorable!! And you definitely have me drooling over that pizza… how could you not take a picture of something that looks so good?! lol hope you have a great rest of your week!

  11. This is how much I needed my mom when we found out we were having twins: we bought a house .4 miles from her! There is NO SHAME in calling in reinforcements!!

  12. LOVE! Jo really is a copy of Andrew hehe. I love that story about the older man and his wife in the pizza restaurant. I remember once seeing in the subway this old lady being all cranky because she thought this younger woman pushed her and she was all “no one looks where they’re going, only on their phone” and then the woman gently started a conversation with her and when I looked over again they were both laughing and looked totally engrossed in each other’s company. Just goes to show we all just want to connect <3

  13. I so appreciate your honesty about early motherhood! I did not have an emotionally easy time surviving the first months as a new mom. I’ve always been very honest about it, but sometimes feel like I’m the only one who struggled quite that much because of course different people have different experiences. (And also not everyone is as comfortable with sharing their mess as I am, ha.) I totally identify with the goal to not break down crying on some days. You are doing a great job!

  14. Say whaaat?! Chick-Fil-A gives milkshake samples? That salmon dinner looks delish too. Love those big croutons! I’ve gotten comments about taking food pics too but I’ve learned to brush it off because it’s something I love to do. Like what you did, when I open up and tell people about why I take pictures and how I make recipes and work with brands, they think it’s really cool :) . I love what you said about calories on menus. That can be a tricky situation, but you’ve gotta learn to release judgement and listen to your body and cravings.

    xxMeah

  15. My first comment, though I often read. Please please keep reading the notes above that tell you “it gets easier” because I promise it does. I had major PPD with my daughter and I thought you couldn’t offer me a million dollars to have another one. Sure enough, I got the help I needed and I now have a 3mo little boy to go with my now 3yo little girl. I promise from the bottom of my heart that (1) this is exactly as hard as you think it is and you are not alone (2) it will get so much better and so much easier (I have to keep reminding myself of this one because whoa boy if the threenager stage isn’t kicking my butt!). Keep finding ways to love and support yourself!

  16. Oh my gosh it drives me crazy when people comment and criticize my taking pictures of my food. I often tell them the honest truth too. I’m like eh hem I’m a food blogger and one of my focuses is helping people with disordered eating learn about normal eating. That makes them uncomfortable and they shut up.

  17. Oh man, I feel you about being the mother of an infant. That was not my favorite time at all. Lots of crying by everyone. Lots of sleep lost by everyone. Lots of frustration. It’s such a huge, ever changing adjustment.
    Thanks for being open and honest, especially during this time when everyone is like “oh, isn’t it so great?!” My LO is 2.5 now and I really enjoy him to pieces. It does get better! That said, we’re probably one and done, because that first 6 months or so were ROUGH.

  18. Can I chime in with “it gets better”? But one really strong thing that has helped me in the aproach to ALWAYS be there for my kids when they are in a real crisis (like I would never let them cry it out in a dark room) BUT when I had to leave and they were crying I would tell my kids from the very beginning in a loving and firm tone “I know you would rather be with me but I need/want to be by myself for a bit, this is your dad/grandma/aunt, he loved you since the day we knew about you, you are safe with him/her.” And if you believe it, she will know. So dropping my kid in the arms of a care worker at a gymn that they see for the first time would not work for me, but their family (or nanny/kindergarten teacher)… always.
    One of the nannies also told me once. “you have to leave sometimes, so they get used to understanding that you are always coming back”

  19. Wow, Kylie, just started reading your blog and it’s sooo inspirational for me!
    Well, just a quick question- as I seen on one of the pictures, you are taking Jo with you in car, and recently I was bothered by my boy’s safety while in car… There is a lot of child car seat protectors on the market now, but what is the best one, in your opinion?

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