5 Thoughts: from getting by on thinness to organization for dummies.
When someone talks to me about their diet
For a period of time I thought I wasn’t authentic because I don’t always speak up about non-diet things in conversations when people talk about the diet they’re on or their weight loss. Now I realize that not every interaction I have is to bring someone over to my belief system. How exhausting would it be to go through your life trying to change everyone.
In order to protect my sanity, now something I ask myself in these non-clinical, just-out-in-the-real-world conversations is, is this person reachable and teachable? And would this help them live a better life? If yes, yes, and yes, I think about what I can say – typically sharing my experience with what the person is saying or asking a question. If no, I protect my energy levels – never praising their weight loss efforts or their compensation through exercise – just kinda nod along until the conversation topic changes. I do try to praise healthful behaviors the person has brought into their life, but weight loss is never one of those since weight loss is a side effect…not a behavior.
Also, because this is what I do for a job, a lot of times, I don’t want to work when I’m not at work or writing a post for the blog, which brings me to the below graphic I saw and laughed at recently…
Getting by on thinness and athleticism
I was thinking the other day about the function of my eating disorder and how I used to think that if I was thin and a runner then I could just hide behind those things and didn’t have to have any substance to me. Being thin and active felt like enough to be accepted. For those who struggle with drug addiction I’ve heard that the age they got addicted to drugs is the mental/emotional age they are when they eventually recover, I feel similar to my ED days. It was something that stunted me (kept me safe and served a purpose for sure), but kept me stagnant. Frozen in okayness. Frozen in just-making-it-through-each-day. Frozen in a false sense of refuge.
As I’ve said before, if my body size is the most interesting thing about myself, I need a hobby. Treating my body size as an important thing isn’t a legacy I wanna leave behind. Being a person who cares for her body regardless of it’s size, now that’s something I’d like to pass along.
A nice things to do for postpartum women
A reader mentioned this idea one time and I thought it was brilliant! A friend of mine is about to have her baby any day and I can not wait to stock her fridge with so many drinks, MTV Cribs style. I love this idea because when nursing Jo I felt such intense thirst. With Ella this presented differently, instead of thirst, if I didn’t drink enough, my eyes would get so dry that I couldn’t even open them in the morning. It’s hard to explain, but they were like glued shut because all my hydration was going to nourish a baby, I guess. I had a hard time keeping up with my hydration needs, so I love the idea of stocking a postpartum mom’s fridge with drinks on drinks on drinks.
Keeping our house clean.
Keeping our house tidy is something I’m trying to care more about. I’m not an organized person, so I need super basic ideas, which is why I titled this post, “organization for dummies” haha. Our home looking clean isn’t a motivator to me…clutter doesn’t bother me. There’s an Albert Einstein quote I’ve always used as justification for a cluttered home haha..it goes, “if a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what then is an empty desk a sign?” I kid, kind of. But things that do motivate me to keep a clean house are 1) knowing where things are (so I’m not losing my mind looking for one of Jo’s tennis shoes every.singe.day…it adds so much stress) and 2) the house smelling nice.
Lately I’ve added a couple bins and an ottoman that has storage to our home so at the end of the day I can just throw any and all clutter into them and BOOM! the house is tidy. My idea is that once the basket is overflowing I can find time to go through it and throw away/donate/put away things.
I stopped nursing recently and it wasn’t this frantic, panicky I-can’t-do-this-anymore-we-have-to-make-a-change thing. Instead I was nursing Ella one morning and I was just like, “this has been so good and we’re done.” I texted Andrew to let him know and that’s that. (also, side note, I always wanted Andrew to put more emoji’s in his texts to me to convey happiness and joy and excitement to be texting with me lol, but he never would so I just added a couple heart emoji’s after his name and now boom! every text from him comes with an emoji.)
In hindsight I really wish I would’ve planned her weaning a bit more thoughtfully since I ended up with some mood shifts that were pretty challenging for me and the week I weaned Andrew had a major work deadline and it could’ve been planned much better. With Jo I didn’t have any depressive symptoms after weaning (I was just rejoicing lol…was so happy to not be nursing anymore), so I was expecting the same situation with weaning Ella, but that wasn’t the case and it would’ve been nice to have a bit more support around. Hindsight is 20/20.
I’m grateful for how easy nursing Ella was, mainly because we utilized formula whenever it made sense. The day I decided to stop nursing I dropped the girls off at daycare and then took myself out to a coffee shop for breakfast / computer work and then got a massage before picking them up. It felt good to do something nice for myself to acknowledge the last several months and to acknowledge the shift in our lives.
Do you have any thoughts on these thoughts?:)