Dating yourself.

Something I’ve improved while being in my 20s is figuring out how to take care of myself.  To do this, the idea of ‘dating myself’ has been helpful.

I spent from from ages 14 to 22 distracting myself from my feelings through restricting my eating, overexercising or overeating.  Gosh.  I wish someone would have come into my life and been like, “Hey! Do you know there are literally HUNDREDS of other coping mechanisms for dealing with your stress and anxiety other than undereating, overeating or overexercising? You could probably be a pretty epic person if you started taking care of yourself.”

But no one said that to me.  Or maybe they did and I wasn’t willing to listen in the state I was in.  Eventually, after I came out of the disordered eating/eating disorder fog, I created a pool of self care activities I can jump into when I need a way to comfort myself.  I shared my 13 favorite self-care practices a while ago.

In the last 4 years, I feel like I’ve finally been getting to know myself.  And the best way I can describe it is like I’ve started dating myself.  I’ve started to ask myself “What do you feel?” and “What do you need?” Much like you would ask another person if you are in a relationship with them and trying to know how to best care for them.  So.  I’m in a relationship with myself.  In this relationship of one, I’ve realized…

How do I give this person love?

How do I make them feel valued?

Where can I take them to make them feel joy?

What makes them sad? What makes them depressed?

I’ve finally started paying attention to who I am and what I need.  For me, part of dating myself has meant taking myself to coffee shops and answering those 4 above questions.  I hope you start dating yourself too.

dating yourself. |



  1. Loved this post so much! Self care is so important, I have never thought of it as if I was dating myself- but that’s so true! It’s taken years of getting out of disordered eating fog for me as well, but I can 100% say ‘dating myself’ was a huge part of that. Thanks for sharing Kylie!

  2. love this! Such a great post with so many valid points. I think learning what we need to do to care for ourselves is so important. I know that over the past few years I’ve learned about myself and who I am as an individual more than I ever thought I would!

  3. Such a great perspective! Dating yourself can definitely fall to the wayside when you’re dating someone else…but still important to remember!

  4. I identify so much with this post. I stopped binging and purging and restricting my food 4 1/2 years ago and I feel like I have finally discovered who I am without my eating disorder. I practice self-care now through exercise (within reason!), eating real food while still indulging in a treat of some kind every day and doing something to soothe my soul whether that’s yoga, meditation or reading a good book.

    Thank you for all of your wonderful posts regarding your recovery. They are inspiring and helpful to so many people.

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  6. Thank you!  I just stumbled onto your blog this morning and this is such a simply, but valuable post that everyone needs to remember.  I’m writing down those four questions to ask myself when I feel off.  Have a lovely weekend!

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  8. This was so refreshing to hear. It feels like no one talks about this stuff. You’re awesome!

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