Pursuing stillness.

I’ve been diving more into learning about stillness and boredom.  I’m not actually being still yet…I’m making myself more busy learning about stillness and boredom as I’m trying to move towards more stillness in my life haha.  Is that ironic? I’m not sure.  I’ll have to ask Alanis Morissette.  Anyways.  I thought the below quote did a good job of explaining why I’m pursuing stillness:  

This week I listened to this podcast and this post is a summary of it.  So these aren’t my original ideas, but you know what Mark Twain says about originality…

“There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.”

So here’s me putting the themes of that podcast through my mental kaleidoscope :)

In the podcast, Gregg mentions that life (like a car) should have neutral, park, drive, and reverse.  We live in a culture that tends to be stuck in drive.  We don’t want to be still because a lot of us (myself included at times) don’t want to feel what we are feeling.  Similar to how we don’t want to stop having an ED / pursuing thinness / dieting because then we’d have to actually feel how we are feeling and that is scary.

When pursing stillness he described 3 phases we go through…

I think one could find themselves on the same journey during ED recovery or when learning to tolerate / accept their natural body size.

Stranger: “This idea of being kind to my body and eating all foods feels foreign.  But I wish I could not have disordered eating / an ED.  I’m missing out on my life.  I’m tired of feeling uncomfortable in my body / around food.”

Enemy: “Oh no.  It’s too uncomfortable.  I can’t sit with this.  I’m going back to my ED / restricting and/or bingeing eating patterns.”

Friend: “I want to become a friend to my body.  I have to break through the “enemy” / uncomfortable feelings by continuing to pursue normalized eating and practicing saying neutral things about my body.”

My plan for the weekend is to find time to be still and feel my feelings by asking myself the 3 questions Gregg posed in the podcast:

  • What am I really going through?
  • What am I really joyful about?
  • What am I really hurting about? 

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend<3 We’re heading to the lake with my good college friends + their husbands and I can’t wait to spend the majority of the weekend floating in water.

See you back here on Monday!


  1. Oh, I like this post! Would never have thought of it myself, but the idea of “sitting with” being still and with weight gain/body change is just the same! I’m struggling with being okay with either, but it’s cool to look at it like this and know that eventually there’s the “friend” stage

  2. I have been experiencing boredom lately and find I feel like I am not doing “enough”. So sad that we are trained in society and more is always better and that we have to keep pushing, pushing, pushing- when really we could just maybe enjoy some of our lives :) Still trying to find out what works for me in this aspect of my life. Controlling myself and my situations doesn’t work and it’s a good remedy to boredness. Playing with my cats, making a time-intensive recipe, experiencing something new and restful are all things I want to do to just “be”.

  3. The meditation app called Insight Timer has some great guided meditations about stillness! It’s just a great app in general and I enjoy taking just ten minutes a day to meditate and bring stillness into my life… It’s also been a great reflection of how I’ve incorporated intuitive eating concepts into all aspects my life because I find myself asking “Okay, what kind of meditation am I craving today? Body scan? Gratitude? Stillness?” and then giving my mind and my body what they need!

    • Love this, Maddie! Thank you for sharing! Insight Timer has helped me fall asleep at night many a times. They have some great soothing, sleepytime meditations too!

  4. I also love this post! I have struggled my whole life with liking or accepting my body and myself as I am. It’s helpful to look at it as making “friends” with our bodies and ourselves and finding contentment and acceptance. I’m going to work on this. Thank you!

  5. I love this post!! I have been feeling restless lately and I’ve been struggling with identifying why. So I find myself unconsciously filling my time with things like exercise (the other night after work I did an orange theory class + walk the dogs + yoga) or doing activities around the house until it’s time for bed. For some reason I don’t even like to sit still to watch TV lately, not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, lol!! I like to think the meditation in yoga helps, but I could definitely use more time to be still and process my thoughts and emotions.

    • I hear you on not enjoying TV anymore. It frustrates me sometimes because I used to find a lot of pleasure in TV watching, but now it just doesn’t feel like it’s helping me live a better life. I’d rather sit on my computer and plan a trip we may never take or watercolor. Or, you know, just be still like I mention I’m trying to do here lol

  6. This is something I’ve been working on as well. I have a hard time with “down” time in which I’m not actively engaged in something–standing in line at the store, sitting at a street light, etc. My brain gets super uncomfortable with not being engaged, so I always pull out my phone to scroll IG, check emails, etc. I was telling a friend the other day that I think the “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” verse could be applied to this. I’ve been choosing to not be conformed to our culture’s patterns of needing constant stimulation so that my brain can just BE. If I can’t be still and present, I definitely won’t be able to sit in His presence and listen to what He wants to communicate to me!!

    • When in line at stores I always find myself pulling out my phone to unsubscribe from emails I don’t remember subscribing for, which is totally useful…but I do it because waiting is so uncomfortable!

  7. This post really resonates with me! This might be totally off-base, but when I was reflecting on my aversion to boredom/stillness earlier this summer, I thought about how we are raised as kids to see those things as punishment. Like time-out or being grounded. I feel like I have this inherent discomfort with being bored or still and that could be in part because those two things were “punishments” when I was younger. 

    Just my two cents… love that you’re exploring this and look forward to more on this topic from you!

    • Interesting Rachel! I could definitely see this as part of the connection why we don’t want to sit still. Sitting still always had a negative connotation when younger, whether it was through punishment, or parents telling you to “be quiet and sit still!” Maybe there’s a different way we should be utilizing the tool with smaller children. Good point!

    • That’s super interesting, Rachel! Thanks for bringing this up!

  8. Lovely! I totally have an unfinished blog that deals with blaming our body when we don’t want to feel our feelings. I love the way you’re thinking it through and exploring from a place of curiosity!

  9. Love this! I ask very similar processing questions to those three listed to my clients in counseling. It is amazing how so many of us tend to run away from just sitting with our feelings. It is so common and I am so glad you are talking about this and also relating it to our relationship with our bodies too! That last picture….just so good. :) Have fun at the lake!

  10. Love love love that you are posting about this!!! Really intrigued by the stranger/enemy/friend concept. On a similar note, I am rereading a book right now called “An Unhurried Life” by Alan Fadling and I think you would really enjoy it.

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