How do you treat something you appreciate vs. something you hate.
Packing up all of our things in preparation for our move has made me think about how I treat things I appreciate vs. how I treat things I’m ready to pass along to Goodwill.
The things I appreciate I care for them well by thinking about how to pack them in a way that best protects them. I visualize where they’ll go in our future home and am excited to have them in my life. Things I’m ready to get rid of I throw into a pile across the room to bag up later and don’t give them much care or thought.
When you like something, you’re naturally going to treat it better. Whereas something you hate you’re likely not going to respect or care for well.
And that brings me to a journal prompt for you…
This post isn’t to make you feel hopeless and like you could never appreciate your body. It is to encourage you to take steps to be kind to your body. Changing your perspective on your body takes time and patience. But at some point you will come to the conclusion that…
I saw Marci post the above from Isabel and I thought it was so good. At some point you realize constantly trying to make your body something it isn’t meant to be isn’t getting you anywhere sustainable. It always leads you back to the pursuit of something that you may have momentarily had once, but aren’t actually meant to be. This pursuit may seem harmless, but it can be highly distracting…keeping you from fully participating in your life.
The only sustainable option is working to like yourself just as you are. And “just as you are” may change and take some getting used to through the years. I remember in pregnancy I got supervision from another clinician because I was having trouble adjusting to my expanding body. I was feeling frustrated I wasn’t always easily embracing my blooming body and I was reminded that it’s okay to need practice being kind to another body size. I had never been before what I was then. There was more of me and that took some getting used to. My body was different, but different isn’t bad.
If you’re up for sharing, I’d love to see your responses to the above journal prompt in the comments section. Also, what are the beliefs you have about weight and your body size that are keeping you from appreciating your body? Why do you need your body to look different to be able to care for it well and engage in healthful behaviors?
I love the part about sustainability in how you treat your body. I look back at my eating disorder now (after 2 years of recovery) and think wow. That was exhausting. I had no energy for anything! Once I got further into recovery, I started noticing that things became more natural. A good check in point for me now is “am I caring for myself in a sustainable way?” And it feels SO good to say YES. Recovery IS possible!
Thanks for sharing, Maddie! Nice work getting to where you are now!
Love this!! It’s so easy to keep falling in the trap of wishing for a smaller body & muting intuitive signals because of it. If smaller is your goal you second guess hunger & fullness & cravings which makes everything harder!!
So good –> “If smaller is your goal you second guess hunger & fullness & cravings which makes everything harder!!” SO TRUE.
I think for me the hardest part of acceptance is that because of female hormones, each month just kind of varies. Does that make sense? Like if one month I’m just really bloated feeling and kind of have an appetite that is all over the place, I start to have negative self-talk and pay attention to things that ordinarily I don’t really notice. When I don’t feel super great, I start to want to control something to make myself feel better when really I know it’s both out of my control and temporary. I do feel like movement, be it just walking on my lunchbreak or doing a Barre3 or Yoga routine really helps mentally even if I don’t feel immediate physical relief.
It sounds like a big part of your full recovery is going to be tolerating the discomfort of those bloated/low appetite times and constantly moving away from the well traveled path your brain wants to go down of saying something is wrong w you and you need to make a change. Instead, reasoning that this is how you feel some times and nothing is wrong or needs to change…you just need to continue taking care of yourself.
Have you ever tracked your period symptoms each month? When trying to get pregnant I started using a fertility app that tracked pretty much everything lol and when tracking bloatedness/bottomless-pit kind of hunger/lack of appetite…it was nice to see how consistent those symptoms were before my period. They still suck, but it’s nice to see the predictability of them most months…3 days before my period I feel like the world is ending and I cry alot + am bloated + don’t have a huge appetite; 2 days before my period I can’t eat enough food and need more than 3 meals and 3 snacks that day; etc etc.
Thanks for sharing, kaci!
Those symptoms sound JUST like me! That makes me feel a lot better because some of my friends don’t have these symptoms so I feel out of the norm. The bottomless hunger is the worst because you have to eat but then you’re all bloated and uncomfy.
The issue is I have the Mirena BC so it causes my symptoms to just be all over the place so some months the symptoms are worse and kind of scattered. I’ve talked to my doctor and she basically said everyone is different and other factors (stress, sleep, activity levels) all kind of effect these symptoms. I do try to take note of the time of month and symptoms and am getting better and noting kind of what part of the cycle I’m in and that helps me to feel more at ease knowing it’s just a part of it and “this too shall pass”.
I just want what I want – to be leaner. I don’t wanna see my big ole belly (Menopot) when I’m in dance class or when I look at pictures from an event I trained and heavily managed my diet for months. I know I shouldn’t do this. I know it’s adjusted my entire life. The logical woman knows this. But I also don’t want to just give up – I’m afraid I’ll get bigger. UGH!
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