a sense of “I’m not trying to get my body anywhere.”

For me, I’ve found the best approach to caring for my body is when I can cultivate a sense of: I’m not trying to get my body anywhere. I take care of my here and now body well, but I don’t have overarching goals of where I’m trying to get it to. I don’t do this perfectly all the time, but I was reflecting recently on how when I can fully be in this mindset it is the most healthy. Always being in pursuit of a body that is different than the body you have is going to keep one very distracted and frenzied.

It’s such a different way of living within your body than is promoted by most. Our culture encourages weight loss and body change as indicators of success, while just being in your body and finding health promoting behaviors that work for you isn’t popular.

In my time postpartum time since having Ella, I’ve noticed I’ve become more comfortable when my body is transitioning and expanding with a growing life, than when I’m just letting it be at it’s set point. I don’t think it’s so much that I don’t trust my body to stay around my set point, I think it’s more that this body feels kinda boring. Growing a baby is such a sensational and fun thing (in my experience) to do with my body, so now just being in my body feels kinda boring. There are some types of movement I can do now that I can’t do while pregnant, and that’s fun, but nothing beats getting to have your body expand with a new life inside of it.

It reminds me of the idea from Fulfilled on how our bodies can’t fulfill us. The author states that the issue isn’t that our bodies are too big, it’s that our bodies are too small to ever fulfill us. While being in my body now feels kinda boring, and not as sensational as growing a baby, I think that’s kind of the point. That is, for the body to just be a body and not be something that occupies your mind much. It drives me to find enjoyment in areas that can actually fulfill me, like being in relationship with Christ, family, friends and neighbors. It’s like, letting my body run and do it’s thing in the background of my life, but not having it be my life. 

What do you think?


  1. Hey Kylie, I have a question that I’d love to hear your thoughts on if you have some time, especially since your pregnancy posts have been SO helpful to me in my own intuitive eating and motherhood journeys:

    First of all, thank you SO much for the work you have done and continue to do in this space! I have found so much freedom and ultimately a much fuller life thanks to intuitive eating. My question for you is this: I’m in the middle of my first trimester with my second baby, and for the first time in a while, my relationship with food feels truly wonky (for lack of a better word haha). In my first pregnancy, I was lucky to avoid experiencing any nausea or many food aversions and so my relationship with food overall felt pretty stable. I definitely did a lot of work with the feelings of restriction that came up around the foods/drinks you aren’t able to have while pregnant and also to honor the increased hunger signals at all times of the day, but overall it was a season of huge growth in my intuitive eating journey and relationship with my body. However, this time around I basically feel both extremely hungry and very nauseous most of the time, and it’s really throwing me off in my relationship with food and my body. It seems like no matter how much I try to honor my hunger and cravings freely, I still end up misjudging signals and end up overly full, overly hungry, or just dissatisfied half the time. Do you have any advice on how to give myself grace in this season while also not allowing these challenging experiences to send me backwards in all the progress I’ve made to find food freedom and body peace?

  2. I agree that pregnancy is amazing and was probably the most excited I’ve ever felt about my body! Now I’m 7 months postpartum and I feel like I have settled into a place of just letting my body do its thing, although I am still nursing so I guess it does have a function beyond just being where my soul hangs out all day. ;) I’m curious to see if I can maintain having my body take a backseat in my mind when I stop nursing. Also- would you recommend that book Fulfilled?

  3. I resonate so much with this as a mother. It’s so special to be able to do something as purposeful as growing a human life with your body.

  4. Honestly as long as i have function (i can chase my 20 month old while carrying my newborn around, not pee myself, physically be able to be on the go all day with both kids and not be horribly exhausted or in pain), I’m good. I find the postpartum body takes getting used to especially since it’s ever changing, and i personally despise being pregnant but that’s only because i don’t like how i feel physically/I’m sick a lot. I think our bodies are pretty awesome at what they can do. I’m feeding both my toddler and baby with my body and that’s pretty freaking cool.

  5. “for the body to just be a body and not be something that occupies your mind much”

    So much YES! That line resonates with me so much. Thank you for putting words to what I have been striving to achieve with my own relationship with my body. 

  6. This is SO good. I am not a mother yet (hopefully one day), but coming from someone who had an eating disorder many years ago, this really hits home.

    Thank you so much for these beautiful thoughts!!!

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