I pumped Saturday morning for the first time. It was what a lot of you had told me…not super pleasant. But it’ll be nice because it’ll give me some more flexibility and freedom! That said I haven’t pumped since because I’m struggling to find the time to do it.
After polling my mom friends we are planning to have Andrew give Joanna a bottle around 9-10pm and then have him get her to sleep so I can get a bit more sleep earlier in the evening and be less sleep deprived when I get up with Jo for her night time snacks. As I’m typing this out I’m not even sure I’ve communicated this plan to Andrew lol. So much of this last month has just been “keep going. she won’t always be this unpredictable. it will get easier. she is so freaking cute. just keep going.”
Okay so that’s what we were trying to do with pumping in theory.…
In practice this is how it went: Andrew gave Joanna a bottle at 9pm. And then she spit up the entire thing 15 minutes later.
This was her very first bottle and we probably should’ve checked with Google (or our pediatrician lol) on how to give it to her. I think we’re gonna try to give her a smaller amount from the bottle, like 1/2 an ounce, and/or give her milk from the bottle over a 20 minutes period instead of her drinking it in like 3 minutes. I think it just went in too fast. And I’m realizing that I don’t think my plan to have me go to sleep from 10-midnight will work because Jo tends to cluster feed in that time…which is fine with me (now that I realized what she wants when she’s screaming/clingy at this time) because after she eats like 3 times in 2 hours she’ll usually give me a pretty solid 3 to 4 hour stretch of sleep. Any advice on bottle-feeding and/or pumping is welcome here!
Sunday evening while Jo was sleeping I was able to take a bath (first bath since she was born! YAY!)…
and do a facemask, which was nice and refreshing…
But after that Andrew and I both hit a bit of a breaking point. I pretty much just gave him a screaming Joanna and went and tried to fall asleep. It was the first time I’ve felt really overwhelmed since having her. Something that was helpful for the past month was that Andrew’s cousin mentioned before Jo was born that it’s “very normal to feel overwhelmed/isolated/like ahhh this is too much responsibility while adjusting to life with baby.” Definitely was feeling all that.
I have a really hard time falling asleep/relaxing unless Jo is asleep right by me. Even if Andrew or another family member is holding her in another room and I know she’s safe and cared for and not hungry…it’s really hard for me to relax and fall asleep. I’m sure that’s a normal mom thing. I told Andrew recently that… “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to relax again.”
So Sunday night Jo was crying with Andrew in the other room and I knew she probably needed to eat again, even though I had feed her within the hour, but I just laid in bed and cried for awhile before I got up and took over baby duty for the night. She always does fall asleep. The unpredictability of her sleep schedule is just so tough!
Even when I do get a break these days it’s hard to enjoy it. It’s hard to have a specific window of freedom and I know in that window I should be sleeping, but I want some me time instead of just sleeping. Has anyone seen that part in one of the Madea movies where her adult daughter Cora says she needs some “me-time” and Madea goes into this rant about “what is me-time? Do you think I got any me-time when I was…” I always quote that line when I’m feeling overwhelmed and it makes me laugh lol. Anyways, I’m still figuring out how to adjust to mom life and think that’ll be a non-stop discovery process for the next 20 or so years.
Other weekend things…after church Sunday Jo and I went on a nice walk. The weather was gorgeous this weekend.
We found a nice tree to sit by and I listened to a podcast and fed baby.
For snacks I’m still loving those monster balls and have made a batch weekly since Jo was born.
And for another snack I’m loving apples with PB + cookie butter.
Sunday evening Andrew and I tag teamed the below meal of stuffed salmon + veggies + ciabatta.
And Saturday night we went over to my parents to celebrate my dad’s bday. My mom made a tasty three course meal…
And there was angel food cake with fresh whipped cream!
I’m feeling really grateful for family. I don’t know how people have kiddos without family near. That’d be so tough! This morning I met Sally at a nail salon and she treated me to a pedicure while she watched Jo. Of course Jo was a perfect angel and didn’t cry once. I have a friend who says her children make her into a liar because they always do the opposite of what she tells people they do lol.
For the rest of today I’m hoping to make a recipe that I’ve been wanting to make for ages! More on that in my next post.