The last 3 weeks of pregnancy were hard. I felt exhausted and like all I could do was fatten up Ella. Families work best when everyone is functional and I was just having a hard time. Obviously we knew I was doing the function of growing a child, but the end of pregnancy is long and waiting is tough. Things were tense between Andrew and I as we waited for this massive change. With Jo’s birth I was so excited to give birth and meet her, but for Ella’s birth I had a hard time getting excited about the birth because I was so nervous about postpartum and knew the realities of newborn life. I was much more aware of the sacrifice motherhood calls you to this time around than I was before Jo came and I was nervous about the potential for getting another colicky baby. But knew (and was constantly reminding myself) that God had equipped me through Jo for whatever type of baby we were given.

day before I gave birth
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