Yeah…Immaeatthat

Apr 06

Just some thoughts.

1. Last night I ate some cookies and milk right after dinner.

I still felt hungry after dinner and cookies sounded satisfying.  Then 20 minutes later I ended up uncomfortably full.  I looked at Andrew and said, “wow.  I really misread that hunger cue.” And then laughed, relaxed on the couch until the uncomfortable fullness passed and moved on with my life.  Intuitive Eating is like aiming for a target of satisfaction.  Sometimes you land below the target (unsatisfied) and sometimes you land above the target (overly full and slightly uncomfortably).

Other thought.  Do you remember when I made those cookies below?  Those were tasty.

2. I was on Food Psych

It’s something that’s been on my radar for awhile as an opportunity I wanted to do.  I’m so grateful Christy had me on<3

3. I wonder how many eating disorder that fear mongering, food documentaries like… (actually I’m not going to name them because I don’t want that crap on my blog), but I wonder how many eating disorders those documentaries have contributed to.  

I would say 1 out of 5 clients I meet with say their ED took a turn after watching a one-sided documentary on food, agriculture or eating.  I think it’s good to remember that documentaries are always one-sided.  Your brain is not a sponge.  You don’t have to absorb everything you hear/see/read/watch.  I guess the issue is people watch these documentaries and use the info they come across to harm themselves…not help themselves.

4. My nutritional counseling page is up on the blog.  

The mobile version wasn’t showing up right yesterday, but it should be fixed sometime today.  The desktop version should be good to go though.  I imagine I’ll accept new clients for the next 2 weeks for immediate appointments, then I’ll schedule people out 3ish weeks from now to give me a chance to step back and decide what is my happy client number to accept at one time.  If you’d like to work with me for disordered eating/bingeing/restricting/food rules/eating disorder recovery/intuitive eating help, send an email to: immaEATthat@gmail.com

5. I have a pimple on my chin…

…that I tried to “make better” by messing with it.  At what age do you learn that never works?! Because I’ve realized it’s definitely not 26.  Maybe when I’m 27.

6. Since I had an emotional and overwhelming March…

…the below has been my lock screensaver since March 2nd:)  It’s gotten me through many a day.  The stress and anxiety of the month wreaked havoc on my poor gut bacteria and I’ve had my fair share of GI distress this month.  Since things have calmed down in April I feel like I’ve turned a corner for my GI tract, which I’m welcoming with open arms.    

7.  I still have zero ideas as to what to do with my email newsletter.  

Do you want to receive every post in an email? What would you like to receive in an email newsletter? I know I would unsubscribe to someone if they posted 5 times a week and sent me an email announcing every post.  I kinda like just sending one out from time to time.  Like a surprise.

8. My knees still hurt a lot.

I’m going to physical therapy 3-4 times a month and the movements they’ve given me to help with my knees help, but there are still days I’m frustrated my knees hurt and I can’t move my body in ways I find joyful.  This pain has been going on since October and I’m over it.  90% of the time I accept that my knees are painful in this season of life and I’m limited to very short bike rides/walk and yoga.  10% of the time I feel like crying about it.  God taught me there are ways to soothe myself without food* and now I feel he’s constantly having to teach (and re-teach) me that there are way to soothe myself without movement.  90% of the time I’m okay with this.  The other 10% of the time my inner child is throwing a tantrum.  

Would love to hear about your life:) Anything you feel like venting about?

*soothing yourself with food is only a negative thing when it is your only coping mechanism for dealing with stress.

25 comments on “Just some thoughts.”

  1. never forget to tell the ed lingerings that its good to be overfull sometimes.that not overfull its over enjoyment in something and how can joy ever be bad.you can tell its not done alllll the time for you so once in a while of having a little tight feeling in the trousers due to loving some cookies isn’t bad.its food.its life.only ever ed trolls that tells us this can be deeply wrong.balance.things happen :) the rest of your post and days happening shows theres more to life :) certainly inspiring us being one!:)

    on your newsletter I always worry I wont know about a post.
    but also due to anxiety I get worried when people send odd ones with so many posts to catch up on.that panicked “ao much to read and do,what if I don’t manage to read them all” feeling (obviously wrong but head does this lol)
    but if your sending one for every post I don’t think id see it as a bad thing.your not doing ten posts a day.and oerhaps seeing he one post gives people a option to read or keep for later where as a bulk post you need to read through.

    I have seem some blogs do the option of postly or weekly recaps.

    also whatever you find helpful. whatever works for you I think will then come across for us because we’ll feel your comfortable with it so itl all be grand then :)

    your knees.im so sorry for you on this.remember for every knee problem there is joy to be found I nsomething else. you can do this.you have gotten through so much pain,this is another fight but one you can do brilliantly.you skilled in the art of warrior now :D easier said than done I no.especially when it causes so much worry and stress.but in those moments look across or down at your own slef and what a wonderful thing you are because through so much 90% of you in this moment is working beautifully.
    that’s a whole lot of good to balance out the knees sh**tness
    as readers is there anything we can do to help you.ease you.make your worries less.i love your daily message on your phone. I want it!!
    your so amazingly special.your posts have been a new little godsend to me.
    thankyou.
    p.s I have no vocab talent so this reply might com across without sense or how I mean it.basically just forget it all and hear “I think your amazing” and that’s all I wanted to say.

  2. I am definitely one that has been triggered by food documentaries!! They deepened my disordered eating behaviors. I would watch one whenever I felt my will power slipping so that I could be even “better” with my restricted eating and over exercising. I thought it was great at the time and used them as one of my eating disorder tools. Now I see just how damaging they are and I avoid them like the plague!!!!

    Side note: When I was very restrictive with food, I thought about food constantly, checked out stacks of cookbooks from the library and would read through them like a good novel… copying (by hand) countless recipes that I wanted to try, would watch food shows on any station I could find. I labeled myself a “foodie” and that I was surrounding myself with all things food (except dessert…. I would not let myself look at dessert recipes unless they were “clean eating” desserts) because I loved food and I was a foodie. Wrong. I was doing it because I was starving myself!
    Now that I’m an Intuitive Eater in progress and I’m eating what my body needs me to eat, I’ve been shocked by how little and how rarely I think about food and food shows/cookbooks. I see the stacks of crazy (restrictive) cookbooks at the library and I roll my eyes now. Now I see them for what they are…. damaging!! Just like those food documentaries! They feed into our fears and encourage very damaging behaviors.

  3. Same here with the overeating. I really have a fullness problem when I make waffles and just eat “a little of that one” and “a bit of this one”. And then bam, so full. But I felt so successful not thinking “oh so many calories” but… “wow that was too much and I feel miserable”

    .

    With your knees, have you tried swimming? That takes a lot of weight of, also when I had knee problems, it really helped me to bike with shoes that click into the pedal (usually with mountain bikes). Also be careful with yoga (I am a certified yoga teacher), there are many asanas that might do harm. Always be sure to not overextend your knee and put your weight into the muscle and not the joint and be extra careful when your knees are twisted.

  4. Emerging from lurking status to say I love the blog, and also, my friend who is an RHN does a weekly round-up emailed newsletter for her blog. She figures out a theme and mentions them all throughout a short narrative, linking to them within, and then linking to them all again at the end. That way, individuals who don’t care to follow the blog on the regular still get updates, but don’t get them super frequently. I can definitely see this model working for you.

    Best of luck! Thanks for the inspiration and great content!!

  5. Woah! I didn’t know that documentary thing was a common thread! I became very strictly vegan after watching a documentary in college– I was already on the downward ED slope at that point but this definitely shoved me off the cliff, haha.  
    I agree on the newsletter thing, if you wanted daily update emails that a post is up I think anyone can subscribe with bloglovin or whatever, I prefer the “surprise” every once in a while. 

  6. I listened to your episode and it was great, per usual! I think once a week would be good for a newsletter or even every other week.
    I’m so happy for your new private practice. I’d like to consider that venture one day. I’m curious to know what technology you will be using? Especially with charting and online clients.

  7. I pinched a nerve in my lower back. It seems it was not only my extreme physical activity to blame but just poor day to day body mechanics. So now basically every movement I make is purposeful in order to not experience that debilitating pain again. I have also backed off on exercise a lot. Things have improved dramatically. I could not have done it without changing some things in my mindset about my body. Your posts and listening to Food Psych has helped me be OK with that. Thank you.

  8. I totally get you with the knee pain! I’ve had pain in my right knee for almost 5 years, and it really keeps me from moving in ways that are joyful for me. God has really used it to break my addiction to exercise, and I know He is still using it, but I am so ready to be pain free!

    Also, listened to your Food Psych podcast and loved it!!!

  9. I was going through running pain forever and couldn’t figure it out with doctors or PT (I won’t say I made 100% effort it was more like a oh by the way my knees are killing me when I run/dance). But I noticed a big difference when I went in for acupuncture for the something else and during the full body treatment – it felt like my knee muscles “sighed of relief” & finally released when the needles went in and were never as bad after! I also work as an actor and there’s a technique called Alexander – it’s very anatomy, alignment and breath focused and helped a lot when I was walking and running to self-correct into better alignment. Would be happy to ask my teacher in NY for suggestions near you! 

  10. P.S. Congratulations on the podcast!! It was wonderful. Was just thinking I would love to hear you on Christy’s show and then there you were Monday AM! 

  11. I love this style of post! I appreciate that you address over-fullness and explain how it isn’t something to be ashamed of. Just a lesson learned. I would say my biggest hurdle in intuitive eating does go back to not calories but my personal fear of disease. Working in the renal area has me seeing so much disease, and it feels as though so. many. people. are diagnosed with kidney failure. I loved how you wrote that while we have some say in our health, it is also, in part, out of our control. Terrifying, but that lifts some sense of burden and blame. So all this is to say I am trying to trust my body. That it will not lead me in a wrong direction. :) I so hope your knee pain is resolved soon! I hate that you’re dealing with it and have been for months. Best of luck with finding a solution!

  12. We have been remodeling our kitchen for a few weeks now; we were given an estimate of 2 weeks, and it’s currently week 4, looking at running into week 5… Anyways, this is a stressor right now because we don’t have a functioning kitchen. I am doing my best to cook meals at home using the crockpot and grill so we can save money, but sometimes life happens and you just have to eat out. All of this to say, I’ve eaten Chick fil A twice in one week and I finally let myself get fries with my order (in the past I just get the entrée item, no fries), and what happened….nothing. I didn’t blow up, I felt the exact same as if I didn’t eat the fries. I really feel I have your blog to thank for relieving me of these food pressures. I can move on and think about other things rather than obsessing about the calories in French fries. And I just keep telling myself how good the kitchen will look when it’s done!

  13. On “5. I have a pimple on my chin……that I tried to “make better” by messing with it. At what age do you learn that never works?! Because I’ve realized it’s definitely not 26. Maybe when I’m 27.” Girl, word… I’m hoping 29 is the magic age when I realize it never works. Yay for new year’s and new lessons!!!!

  14. I love when newsletters offer content that isn’t on their blog already. I usually unsubscribe to newsletters that are just “announcing” that they published blog posts this past week. I don’t really enjoy the “in case you missed it” newsletters because, for those of us who are loyal blog readers, it’s repetitive and clogs our inbox. I feel like you would have such amazing things to write about in your newsletter (because your blog ROCKS!), that I would definitely subscribe. :)

  15. Your interview on the Food Psych podcast was great! Thank you thank you thank you for always speaking truth and being such an encouragement to those of us in recovery.

    I love the way you currently send out newsletters. I know to check back to your blog daily for content, but the newsletter is a fun surprise in my inbox!

    P.S. Praying for your knees, girl! I know how painful that can be. He will bring you through it :)

  16. I listened to the Food Psych episode and it was great! I think that podcast and your blog will be a form of self care for me. :) it’s so refreshing.

    I really love your screen saver and I feel like I needed that today as well. I got emotional on my lunch break and shed some tears because my morning at work was stressful. Added to that is the fact that I find it hard to believe in the work I do sometimes. I work as a nutritionist for the WIC program and clients are labeled as high risk if they are obese. And while fruits and veggies are important I think the expectations that our clients will stop eating processed food and eat more fruits and veggies is unrealistic. I want to help people be healthier but I do NOT want to teach people to cut out foods or count their cups of each food group. Sorry to vent but that is one of my current stressors and I think today I’m just gonna be a gangsta and handle it and not get emotional :)

  17. Heard you on food psych – you were terrific!. You, Christy, Robyn, Alexis and Rachel are my medicine right now!!! Thank you :)

  18. 1. Food Psych podcast was so great!
    2. Trying to slow down exercise due to arthritis in hip (almost bone on bone), and shoulder issues…and it is VERY hard (but realize I want to be able to move in 20 years!) so I’m doing it???
    3. Pimple on chin issue…I’m 55 and STILL trying to learn THAT lesson!!! (My esthetician wants to burn all magnifying mirrors!)
    4. EDB…Your hubby sounds as TOTALLY sweet, supportive, & funny as mine = keeper :)

  19. I’m coming out of the woodwork to say that I love your blog, and I was SO excited when I saw that you were on Food Psych – two of my current favs coming together totally made my week.
    Side comment – I’m an Australian, and I always get a bit of a shock when I hear someone speak after reading their blog, because I always overlay an Australian accent on what I read. Same thing has happened with a few other bloggers who have gone to audio / video lately. It amuses me no end the things that our brains do without us realising it!
    Also, I’ve had a back injury now for about 10 months (I bulged some discs in my lower back) and I am also at the stage of frustration where I’m not able to move my body in a way that makes me feel good. I am embracing walking which is good for my injury, and conveniently aligned with finding some amazing Podcasts to listen to. Keep at the rehab, you have to have faith. But I will also say that I had to trust my instinct when I felt that certain treatment wasn’t helping, and I switched from physio to osteopathy, and it made the world of difference. Phew – guess I had a lot to add.
    Thanks for your blog Kylie, I love it and your message.

  20. Girl, #8 really spoke to me. For almost five years I’ve had knee pain (even had minor knee surgery!) and diagnoses all over the place, but it’s prob just tendonitis. It’s been such a struggle for me because I love relieving stress through workouts (no squats, lunges, running, intense biking, prolonged standing, etc. for me!). I’ve been to PT so many times, and went to a new one in the summer. Welp, turns out one of the exercises they had me do gave me shin splints. Oddly enough, the knee pain went away when the shin splints came, but it sucks because I’ve had shin splints since November.

    LONG explanation (or was it really a rant? ha), but I wrestle with the pain and my body not cooperating and letting me do what movement I find joyful. LOVE what you wrote: “God taught me there are ways to soothe myself without food* and now I feel he’s constantly having to teach (and re-teach) me that there are way to soothe myself without movement.” I think I’ve been resisting that teaching :)

  21. First off, I absolutely LOVE your post. You are honestly so transparent and I really admire that – as a reader and a fellow blogger. And I don’t know if I’ll ever learn not to mess with my pimples either to be honest. I’m too much of a control freak, I think?

    Some random thoughts from me…

    I also need to learn how to soothe myself without movement (LOVE how you phrased that). Exercise/walking/yoga/etc is my main stress-reliever…even though I know too much is not helpful.

    I can’t believe I’ll be freakin’ moving to Mankato, Minnesota in a handful of months for grad school! Never even visited Minnesota and I don’t know a single soul except for one blogging friend a few cities away. But this is a HUGE opportunity in that I’ll be an MFA in creative nonfiction and paying for my schooling through teaching. I’m waffling between terrified and excited!

    I am very thankful for night snacks!

  22. I like surprise emails! More meaningful than regular ones maybe?

  23. As always, love your posts Kylie! I’m heading to vacation next week, so I’ll definitely download your podcast to listen to!! Talking about vacation, I’m feeling a little stressed out about the whole “I’ve gained weight, I have to wear a bathing suit, will my friends judge me?” Thoughts. However, I’ve continued to practice intuitive eating and eat what I crave EVEN when I begin to have these racing thoughts/ when other people talk about their beach body diets (which I’ve learned to feel sad for them vs wish I could have the “restraint” to follow their diets!) Hope you have an amazing day XO

  24. Maybe a weekly email update on the posts you’ve done?
    For your knees: I’m sure the physical-therapists are helping, but if you’re looking for something different I highly recommend seeing an Osteopath. Mine has helped me greatly with my back and shoulders, which allows me to continue to do what I love!

  25. Hey Kylie,
    So sorry to hear about your knees! I have been having hip pain and have been attending physical therapy, as well. It is also something that is very frustrating right now. In some ways, I have been grateful for the mandatory “rest break” I’ve had from any type of intense physical activity. This time has allowed me to give myself a reason to step back, breathe and appreciate other ways to soothe myself. Other times, I too, feel like throwing a tantrum. ;)

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