Yeah…Immaeatthat

Nov 30

Postpartum so far.

Now that I’m 3 weeks into the 4th trimester of pregnancy (aka postpartum) I thought I’d share a bit about how things have been going so far.

Nursing

I was nervous about how nursing would go and my motto was, “it’s okay to feel kinda icky about breastfeeding. AND it’s okay to try to do it anyways.”  Breastfeeding was painful for the first 6 days.  My nipples were mega blistered and there was some bleeding.  I was confused because so much of what I heard said, “if breastfeeding is painful you’re doing it wrong.”  Andrew and I met with a lactation consultant in the hospital and watched some Youtube videos on proper latching.  One nurse mentioned it can take a few days for your nipples to toughen up a bit.  I mean, makes sense…I’ve never had someone sucking on my nipples for hours at a time before.

On day 7 of her life I fed Joanna and realized there was pretty much no pain and all blisters/bleeding had gone away.   I wouldn’t say nursing is 100% pain free now.  When Jojo first latches I take 3 deep breaths because right when she starts feeding can be a bit painful…then it subsides.  But there are no more blisters or bleeding and at least once a day when I’m nursing her I wanna scream, “THIS IS THE MOST MAGICAL THING! I LOVE BREASTFEEDING! MY BABY IS SO SWEET AND CUTE AND I LOVE HOW SHE RESTS HER LITTLE HANDS ON MY BOOB LIKE THAT.”  And then the other 5-10 times we feed that day I’m like, “blah.  Let’s just turn on the tv and get through this feed.”

I haven’t started pumping and storing milk yet, (because honestly it sounds like one more thing to figure out and I don’t wanna overwhelm myself), but I do wanna start having Andrew give her a bottle because 1) I think it’s a cool bonding thing to feed her,  2) I will be going back to work in early 2018 and I wanna make sure Jo will easily take a bottle, and 3) I wouldn’t mind giving my nipples a break from time to time.

Things I found to be super helpful for nursing (some affiliate links included)…

  1. Medela Tender Care Hydrogel Pads – SO SOOTHING for your nipples.  I highly recommend these.  I ended up buying 12 pairs of them because my boobs leak and ruin them pretty quickly.
  2. Boppy Nursing Pillow – I’d recommend getting as many odd shaped pillows as you can.  They’re great for stuffing behind baby to support her during feeds.  I also have a random cylinder shaped pillow that I’ve found works great for nursing.
  3. Booby Tubes – These are excellent because you can wrap them around your boob so your nipple is sticking out of the center, which keeps your nipples from touching anything while allowing them to dry out.  Even 3 weeks into nursing I’m still using these.
  4. Netflix shows/deep breathing during the first 6 days when feeding was painful and I needed a bit of a distraction.
  5. 3 nursing bras. I have two of these and this one.
  6. Nursing pads.  I’ve got disposable and non-disposable ones.  I find the non-disposable ones are less rough on my nipple, so I prefer those…but if those aren’t clean I think it’s convenient to have the disposable kind.  I’ve got Bamboobies (Reusable) and Lansinoh Disposable Nursing Pads.

I haven’t really felt ravenous.  I’d heard a lot of people say they constantly felt hungry while nursing, but I’m doing a good job staying ahead of the hunger by eating meals and snacks constantly throughout the day.  It helps to have friends, family, and UberEats dropping off meals! 

My first poop after delivery.

Holy crap.  This was something I didn’t know was gonna be so tough.  I didn’t poop for 4 days after delivery (which I’m told is typical) and during my first poop I cried my eyes out because it felt pretty scary and like my stitches in my perineum were going to pop out.  Pooping has gotten a million times easier, but for a while there it was like I forgot how to poop.  Some of you mentioned you used flaxseed + water to help poop after delivery, but I chose to take the stool softener my OB prescribed…and I continued to take it until just recently. 

Mood 

During pregnancy I felt really scared about postpartum depression.  Instead of being able to be curious about the unknown, I felt myself getting more and more terrified. The below quote about the unknown is one I love, but in pregnancy I found in really hard to cope with anything and everything life…so I couldn’t get my mind to a place of curiosity.

But here I am 3 weeks into motherhood and I’ve never felt happier.  I think it’s similar to how I felt after getting married.  The first year of marriage and ever since I’ve felt like I was MADE to be married.  I’ve find being married to be a lot of fun and I feel the same way about caring for Joanna.  I’ve only cried once since she was born…when Andrew went back to work.   I’m not saying that in a brag-y, “oh look at me I’ve only cried once” way.  I’m just sharing my experience.  I know that isn’t everyone’s experience postpartum and I’m grateful my mood has been so positive.  Andrew reminds me that it’s okay if my mood does shift and I do start feeling sad and emotional.  I think something that is hugely helpful is that we have so much family support between our parents and caring mom friends who have been reaching out and giving me a lot of support.  If you are reading, big thank you to Nikki, Ashley, Stephanie and Kristin. 

I’ve been able to give myself a ton of self compassion by remembering that Jo has never been a baby before and doesn’t know how to handle anything and I’ve never been a mom before so we’re just gonna figure everything out together.  

Right now taking care of myself looks like doing the below Well Mom checklist everyday.  The list (which I changed a bit) was given to me by my OB via a local therapist office.

Body

The more I’ve thought about it over the last 3 weeks, I’d believe that pregnancy and giving birth marked my 100% complete recovery from my eating disorder.  This time has been incredibly special for me as I’ve been able to trust my body like I never had before through the body changes in pregnancy and while pushing out baby girl

In pregnancy I knew that my body knew how to gain the right amount of weight and it wasn’t something I needed to try and control.  And in this post-partum period I know that my body will find the body size it is meant to be. I’m feeling good about letting my body size journey as it needs to.  My job is to take care of myself and that doesn’t involve me aiming to end up at a certain body size.  Right now taking care of myself involves me focusing on doing the above list each day.

My body has been through a lot over the past year…

48 hours before I delivered…

24 hours after birth…

2 1/2 weeks after birth…

I honestly haven’t thought that much about my body other than having awareness that my body feels like a soft-fleshy-limp-noodle that makes milk to sustain a cute little baby.  And that is the perfect body for me in this season of life. 

Our bodies are made to change.  I think it’d be pointless and exhausting to be attached to staying the same exact size, which I talked about here and here.  The more time you spend teaching your brain to focus on things that are more important than your body size, the easier body changes will be for you to journey though.  Here’s a post on reframing unhelpful thoughts (aka retraining your brain to focus on things other than body size).

I am excited to be able to move again in a few weeks, but I’m being patient.  Short, slow walks and stretching are fine and it’s rejuvenating to get outside, but after a longer walk recently my stitches were super achy (the aforementioned “flu of the vagina sensation” lol) and I know that was my body telling me that longer walks aren’t okay right now.

2 postpartum essentials I loved (any of these would make excellent gifts for moms to be!)

1. Fridababy Fridet Peribottle.  This is for washing your perineum postpartum.  My friend Stephanie gifted me this and it’s fabulous.  The hospital sends you home with a peribottle, but this one is angled and a million times better.

2. Friends, family and UberEats to bring meals and snacks.

Sally (Andrew’s mom) loaded our fridge and freezer with meals and snacks.  My parents have come over multiple nights and cooked us dinner at our house.  It is so helpful to not have to think about cooking.  If there is a way to gift an UberEats giftcard, that’d be an EXCELLENT gift for a family with a new little one!  

So that’s how things are going so far! I hope you’re enjoying coming along on this journey with us! 

34 comments on “Postpartum so far.”

  1. Juuust a heads up that pumping doesn’t give your nipples a rest. I hate pumping. I mean, I still do it because.., well, life – but I think it’s way more uncomfortable than nursing.

    • Seriously?!! Blahhh what a bummer! Glad you told me! I will be putting pumping off for even longer now lol

      • I think the worst part for me is that, when breastfeeding – i get to look at Blake. I get to hold her. I get to rub her little fingers and legs and head and give her kisses.
        Pumping is just sitting up at night, half asleep, wondering if I should wake up James and see if he’ll take the milk downstairs to the fridge or if I can just say ‘eff it’, dump the milk, and go back to sweet sweet bed. And my pump never seems to do a great job of pumping and I always just feel like Blake gets more milk when she nurses v. drinks a bottle of pumped milk.
        Also traveling with a pump = 🤦🏼‍♀️
        Do yourself a favor and buy a little handheld manual or battery powered travel pump. Also not NEARLY as effective as nursing but Hello. Way easier than dragging a plug-in pump around with you.

    • Lololol I was just coming to say pumping is THE WORST. Plus you mentioned blisters and bleeding – be sure your nipples are 100% healed before you pump because yikes. Also, i used to apply a bit of nursing cream before pumping if i wasn’t doing it immediately following a feed.

  2. You are, hands down, one of my favorite bloggers. Your honesty and approach to life, food, and movement resonate with me. I am so happy to hear you are being forgiving of both yourself and your baby. The first several weeks are hard, and you’ll look back and wonder how you made it. But you will, and you’ll be happy and proud that you did. I know you are soaking up every moment with baby, but it truly does just keep getting better as you settle into a routine and baby starts to figure things out. Of course, there are always those days (or really weeks) where things get off but in those times I remind myself “its just a phase”. Though, the terrible 3s seem to be more of a year than a phase, but I’ll let you know next year when my son is 4! HAH. Two books I highly recommend….The Wonder Weeks (the book, way better than the app, as it tells you what kind of changes the baby is going through), and Balancing Breast and Bottle (lots of great info on figuring out the whole pumping thing). Congrats to you and your little family!

  3. I enjoyed this post! I am 24 weeks pregnant and have been having a rough time with anxiety during pregnancy and not handling things extremely well. I hate being so emotional and I also have been concerned about postpartum depression. Your comment on mood made me feel much better that I’m not the only one who feels this way and that this may not necessarily continue after the baby comes. Congrats on motherhood, it looks like you are already an awesome mom!

    • Girl, one time while pregnant I cried because my husband didn’t laugh at my joke. One time i sobbed because he woke me up from a nap. One time I LOST. MY. SHIT. Because he wouldn’t drive me the 8 hours to get a specific ice cream that I wanted at 8pm on a Sunday.
      Accept those emotions. Feel them. Laugh about them later when you’re ready. You got this.

  4. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you. And you seem to be adjusting to motherhood so well – I just love how kind you are to yourself. The best thing anyone said to me after I had my son was “he’s never had a mama before. He has no one else to compare you to.” Which is another way of saying that he isn’t judging me for how I’m doing things or wishing that I’d do them differently- hes just happy to figure it all out with me. it’s so easy to read a zillion articles online and wonder if you’re doing things “the right way,” but I’ve realized that there is no right way – it’s whatever works for us! The first few months I was totally guilty of googling things at 3am while I was up nursing. My husband would roll over and have to grab my phone out of my hand because I would wake him up saying things like “well according to the What to Expect website, jake should be sleeping AT LEAST 2 hours a time at night! He’s obviously distressed.” 🤦‍♀️

  5. The first year of my oldest son’s life was my happiest year ever.  It definitely helped that he slept amazingly well at night and I wasn’t dealing with exhaustion after the first month or so.  The first year if my second son’s life was super challenging.  He did not follow in his big brother’s footsteps in the sleep department!  And chasing after a two year old while sleep deprived is no fun.

    Anyway, motherhood looks good on you!  I love your body perspective and find it very helpful in my own journey of body acceptance.  

  6. This post just made me so happy! It sounds like everything is going well and that you are giving yourself lots of grace! Saving this to come back to one day when I am in a similar season of life and will likely need the reminders :)

  7. Love!!! 😍 Your shared experiences are a gift to many of us!

    As I grow my baby in my belly, I find myself worrying if I’m doing “good enough” nourishing him, resting, etc. and it’s honestly exchausting. Outside influences are detrimental like when I am asked about weight or people comment about my belly/body size. Trying to let go of comparison! I feel like a second baby will be a little bit easier because the confidence that “I know how to do this” will be there.

  8. As someone hoping to be on the pregnancy journey soon, I really appreciate your candidness about your experiences. It has given me peace of mind and has been super informative.

  9. Thank you for being so open!! Many women, I imagine, have no idea what to expect because it’s societally seen as taboo to talk about these details of pregnancy and post-partum. Like the pain with just using the bathroom and other details. Thanks for being a wealth of knowledge!

  10. Thank you for sharing! I love that you are enjoying life right now, and I really appreciate your commitment to a non-diet lifestyle. The thought of women fixating on body size and being robbed of time with their new baby postpartum makes me so sad and frustrated at our society. This is a breath of fresh air and a reminder of what truly matters in life. Happy you are both doing well <3

  11. It’s been 6 years since my last baby and I still LOVE reading birth stories and postpartum stories. Thanks for sharing yours. Those first poops! I was super scared about my first one after birth too…it also took 3-4 days. It happened my first day home while I was carrying my baby. The urge came fast and suddenly I didn’t know what to do. I ended up pooping in my pants. Plopped baby (gently) on the floor of the bathroom and took care of business. It was hilarious after the fact.

  12. I LOVE that checklist!

  13. Love this post!

  14. So happy to hear (read) you are doing well!!! How’s your back? Hope that pain has disappeared ;)

  15. Yes to the poop thing! Any time someone asks me what the biggest surprise of motherhood was, I say it was the painful recovery after delivery. And that damn first poop (and for me, the second and third ones too). I told my husband it felt more painful than the majorly of my contractions and he laughed and was like “yeah right you are not remembering that night correctly” 😂 haha but now one thing I tell my souls and OB is that I wish I had been more prepared for what to expect pain-wise in recovery.

  16. You are a gift to this world. Thank you for writing. I love your perspective – “flu of the vagina” is such a great descriptor ha.

  17. This was one of my favorite posts you’ve ever written! I love what an honest and real assessment you give of early motherhood, while also being so positive and obviously in love with this phase of life. Even the not-so-fun parts! Thank you for sharing :)

  18. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, I’m certain it will help a lot of new moms out there. I definitely wasn’t in a good place postpartum and I really regret not being more gentle with myself. Your little girl is so adorable, I hope you enjoy this special time😊

  19. So great to hear that you and your family are doing so well!  You got this Kylie…plus you continue to crack me up!!!! :)

  20. Saving this for when I need it in a few months – thank you for being so real! I’m glad the transition is going so well for you Kylie!

  21. I love all of your posts but this one really brought a smile to my face. I know this is a challenging phase of life but it really seems like you’re doing an amazing job and y’all three are awesome. It’s SO AWESOME how you feel about your body. I’m in college and for me marriage/motherhood is super far down the line, but if I could be even half as positive as you I would be thrilled.

  22. Such a good and helpful post. I love how you talk about being compassionate with yourself, trusting your body, and forgiving yourself if you make mistakes – so important but so hard. Thank you!

    I did (with my first) and do (with my seven month old, second) feel pumping gives me a rest. But I had a lactation consultant help me pick the right size cup for my nipples, and they are two different sizes so I got two different sized cups for my pump. Prior to the consultation I was just using the cups that came with the pump and it was quite painful.
    I love pumping and storing milk, it makes me feel so proud of myself and my body. I also love watching my husband feed our babies, I don’t think I’ve ever loved him more.
    Congratulations!!

  23. I love how honest and open you are about EVERYTHING! For so many people pooping and sore nipples and all that stuff would be so off limits – but it’s the stuff moms-to-be need a heads up about! You’re the best, I love your blog and how in-the-loop you’re keeping your readers. Glad things are going well in mommy world for you.
    And PS, baby Jo is ADORABLE!

  24. Thank you for this, Kylie!! You are the most open and honest person, which is why I read your blog every day. Thank you for not hiding anything in your posts! I will keep all of these tips in the back of my mind when I hope to become a mom one day :) Your daughter is beautiful and you have already shown to be a terrific mother! Enjoy this time with your family! 

  25. Thank you, Kylie, for being so honest and open! I loved hearing how you and Jojo are doing :) She is a little dear and you are an amazing mother!!

  26. Love how real you are in this post and your childbirth post (really in every post) and I look forward to following your journey as a new mom! I’m 18 weeks along and love hearing both the good and the bad of what’s to come. You’re doing great!

  27. So happy for you and thank you for sharing!! Sometime would love to hear about acclimating Jo to puppy and puppy to Jo. Thanks!

  28. I so appreciate your openness Kylie! As someone who isn’t having kids, your sharing is so important for me in understanding what my clients and friends having babies are going through. And I love having you as a resource of someone modeling self-compassion and care in pregnancy and postpartum! You’re the best :)

  29. I love the perspective of thinking about how your body has been through a lot over the course of a year. I really hate how there is so much emphasis through the media after a celebrity gives birth and how she “got her body back” after just a few weeks or something. It’s very unrealistic. I would hate to think of anyone giving up precious bonding mommy time during those initial weeks obsessing over food and their body just so they can “get it back.” It makes sense that your body has been through so much over the course of a year, that it will take time for your body to settle into whatever new shape it needs to take. I am enjoying these posts so much!

  30. Kylie, you are such an inspiration! Your family is beautiful, and I love reading your updates. I just wanted to let you know that I truly believe that your blog and instagram helped me to get pregnant! My husband and I had been trying for a long time, but I did not get a period after I stopped birth control. In the back of my mind, I thought it might have something to do with how much I controlled my caloric intake to stay at the same weight even though it was technically within the “healthy BMI range.” Countless doctors (some of whom recommended I NOT gain weight) couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t getting a cycle or responding to progesterone withdrawals to jumpstart my cycles. I decided to trust my instincts and work on letting go. I found your blog, and it really helped me to trust my body and its needs. Low and behold, my period returned after about 6 months of letting go of the calories, and I got pregnant naturally on my 4th cycle! Thank you so much for helping to give me the courage to love my body and to become a mother in June! <3

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to Top