1. Growing up my best friend and I realized that our moms shared a similar trait: they would stay up late at night. Now as we are both mothers, we laugh because we get it. If quiet is craved, the best time to find it is when the kids are asleep. I go to bed early, but some mornings I find myself awake at 4am eating a nutella crepe, drinking a latte, and sharing with or receiving from God in some way. Typically this is after a kid has woken up in the 3am hour and it is hard for me to fall asleep after. So after the little Cindy Lou Who is back in bed I stay up and enjoy the easy peace of a quiet house.

2. The kids have been so funny lately. One child put glue all over the floor. When asked why, she said, “I wanted to see if I could glue myself to the floor.” Alrighty then. It was on tile so it came up easily with the steam mop, which is my favorite cleaning tool ever.

Later one of the kids was mad at Andrew so she went outside and started drawing. I asked what she was drawing and she said, “I’m drawing Daddy wrong.”

me: Okay, how?

her: “I’m drawing him with hooves for hands and feet.”

In her eyes it was the ultimate burn lol. That and “you aren’t coming to my birthday party” are the ultimate insults these days. Here is Hoof Daddy:

3. I recently took a week off exercise (I’m going to share a post on this!), and I’m not sure if it was just a coincidence with the timing or a direct cause, but I ended up with a pelvic floor flare of some sort. It had never happened before. I have a birth injury from my first birth on my right side and it felt like the muscles there were stuck in a contraction. I’ve started doing the MommaStrong course on pelvic floor release for hypertonicity (a new term for me) and it has helped. I saw a pelvic floor PT after I had my second kid, but I find the MommaStrong program more helpful than I found that.

4. I came across these shoes recently and they are the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen! But I can’t find them in my size (I have large feet. Size 11+!). I’ve settled for hot pink Rothy’s instead, which are also great and I’ll probably get way more wear out of them than I would the heels.

5. I use the steps for self-compassion from Kristin Neff so much. When I’m sleep deprived, my thoughts start offering up insults. My brain can be so mean, and I know the main trigger is exhaustion. We are in a rough sleep patch over here. Both Leah and our 3 year old have stopped sleeping well for the past 3 weeks, so exhaustion is high. I told Andrew in the middle of the night last night that I’m getting close to a breaking point. One night we had 6 wake-ups amongst the kids – gahhh.

Steps for self compassion (I went through these yesterday in my head when in the school pick-up line):

1. Notice you are suffering.
   – Example from yesterday: I am tired. When I’m tired it’s easy to hurl insults at myself and they are so mean and horrible and wear my down.
   
2. Recognize the common humanity in your suffering (aka many people go through this).
   – Sleep deprivation is part of parenthood. All parents experience this. It sucks.
   
3. Offer yourself kindness in the face of that.
   – The insults your brain is offering up aren’t true, they are just coming up because you feel tired and are trying to push back against it. It’s a beautiful day today, I’m gonna get out of the house and take the kids to that green space we love. It’ll be something nice for me because if we go home they are gonna be whiny and I don’t want to be locked inside a house with that level of noisy chaos right now.

This is one of my favorite tools I have when I’m having a hard time. It takes me out of a place where I am the attacked and the attacker all rolled into one. I use it probably more than any other tool and it has helped me so much.

Happy December! I think this is the first Christmas my oldest will remember, so I’m feeling very excited about it! Lastly, a huge thanks to the 7 of you who donated on Ko-fi to offset the blog’s expenses. I appreciate it!