1. LOOK AT LEAH’S NEW SHOES AND HER CUTIE LEGS! I DIE!

2. I’m going to start selling a candle soon! The idea is for a candle that creates a mealtime ritual of acknowledging our need (at dinner time I’m acutely aware of my need because I feel like I am drowning in children lol) and God’s goodness whether eating with others or alone. I’m planning to sell it online for any of you who would like one and, fingers crossed, in a couple coffee shops or bookstores. It’ll be an unscented or lightly scented candle (I’m still playing around with this). Right now it is a soy wax candle that I add olive oil to, so it’s a scent that doesn’t overpower the meal (I don’t want to smell a Cactus Flower candle, etc. while eating my dinner), but I find myself wanting to add a grounded scent to it. The scents I’ve tried over the last month have notes that are on the sweeter side and I’ve *hated* them.

I’ve loved selling a product. Longtime readers will remember my black bean brownie mixes and single serving cookie eBook. I love the excitement of creating a product someone actually wants to buy! If you want to see, here are some R&D photos:

3. I got some ear plugs for the afternoons. Children are loud. These have been helping reduce sensory inputs (specifically, children who make alarm noises and guttural sounds) that really affect me. I also got some of the Loop ear plugs and those are nice for when I want sound taken down 5 notches, but they also make my ears sore. The Mack’s take sound down 10 notches. The sensory overwhelm has been a lot lately for me. I brought it up with my psychiatrist. I got tested for ADHD as an adult and based on the standard I tested positive. I was wondering if maybe there was an ADHD medication that could knock down the sensory overwhelm a bit – her response was, “No. ADHD meds are only if you struggle with task completion.” She had more tact than that, but that was basically what she said. My research says different. I feel like I could poll 3 doctors and get 3 different answers. The only time I feel I need support is when I’m home with my kids. My work is set up with the requirements that make me thrive – it’s work I enjoy, that is calm (one-on-one), it’s creative and I’m interested in doing it. The psychiatrist’s recommendation was to increase my Zoloft, but I’m frustrated by that recommendation and don’t think that’s the right path. On second thought, I could have advocated that the sensory inputs make it hard to complete tasks at home. A lot of days feel like nails on a chalkboard with the noise and then I end up a bit frozen, but I’m able to power through and “complete tasks.” For completing tasks, how unpleasant is too unpleasant? I don’t feel like it should be this binary “did you complete x task or not”. I’m wired to be highly motivated to complete tasks for my family, but it’s very unpleasant with the sensory overwhelm and that overwhelm is more subjective than the binary task assessment of, “is the dinner getting to the table or not?” I could get another opinion, but that feels daunting because apparently I do struggle with task completion…I kid.

Right now I’m moving forward focusing on using things that knock down the sensory inputs and I do get relief with those – earplugs, Grey’s Three Sensory Routine, nervous system regulating exercise, soft blanket + comfortable clothing, no perfume, turning off too bright lights. All those things combined do help in reducing overwhelm and leaving me less zonked out feeling in the evening.

4. A friend said something recently about assuming her husband is thinking the worst of her…so I’ve been noticing when I’m assuming Andrew is thinking the worst of me. For instance, I got take out Mexican food for dinner one night and I assumed Andrew would be disappointed I spent money, thinkin: “we just had Mexican food a few days ago”, or thinking: “why can’t she just cook and have dinner ready to go?” Satan can use these assumptions to tear my marriage down.

5. This article was so creatively written. I made Andrew read it because it was just so funny and sweet. Our marriage has felt so fun lately, even though sometimes we go on a date night and I’m like, “WHO ARE WE WITHOUT THE KIDS?!!” A lot has been figured out and communicated in 10 years of marriage. Having a third child led to me having to leave many household problems for Andrew to figure out on his own (i.e. packing Jo’s lunch for school, taking her to school every morning, filling out all the school paperwork, loading + starting the dishwasher every night, cooking dinners). Leaving him some problems to solve gave me what I’ve wanted all along – him taking initiative in and ownership of the day-to-day happenings of the household.