I’ve been diving more into learning about stillness and boredom. I’m not actually being still yet…I’m making myself more busy learning about stillness and boredom as I’m trying to move towards more stillness in my life haha. Is that ironic? I’m not sure. I’ll have to ask Alanis Morissette. Anyways. I thought the below quote did a good job of explaining why I’m pursuing stillness:
This week I listened to this podcast and this post is a summary of it. So these aren’t my original ideas, but you know what Mark Twain says about originality…
“There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.”
So here’s me putting the themes of that podcast through my mental kaleidoscope :)
In the podcast, Gregg mentions that life (like a car) should have neutral, park, drive, and reverse. We live in a culture that tends to be stuck in drive. We don’t want to be still because a lot of us (myself included at times) don’t want to feel what we are feeling. Similar to how we don’t want to stop having an ED / pursuing thinness / dieting because then we’d have to actually feel how we are feeling and that is scary.
When pursing stillness he described 3 phases we go through…
I think one could find themselves on the same journey during ED recovery or when learning to tolerate / accept their natural body size.
Stranger: “This idea of being kind to my body and eating all foods feels foreign. But I wish I could not have disordered eating / an ED. I’m missing out on my life. I’m tired of feeling uncomfortable in my body / around food.”
Enemy: “Oh no. It’s too uncomfortable. I can’t sit with this. I’m going back to my ED / restricting and/or bingeing eating patterns.”
Friend: “I want to become a friend to my body. I have to break through the “enemy” / uncomfortable feelings by continuing to pursue normalized eating and practicing saying neutral things about my body.”
My plan for the weekend is to find time to be still and feel my feelings by asking myself the 3 questions Gregg posed in the podcast:
- What am I really going through?
- What am I really joyful about?
- What am I really hurting about?
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend<3 We’re heading to the lake with my good college friends + their husbands and I can’t wait to spend the majority of the weekend floating in water.
See you back here on Monday!