Yeah…Immaeatthat

1. The mindfullness practice that helped me in recovery.

There are times when I reflect back on recovery and the exact tools / ah-ha moments that helped me recover.

In my eating disorder, every day I woke up with automatic thoughts to eat as little as possible, avoid “bad” food, and exercise as much as possible.  This left me ending up feeling out of control around food multiple times a week and took up a ridiculous amount of precious brain space.  My eating disorder also made me a boring person, which is something I want to write a longer blog post on later.

Once I had awareness of the thought that was keeping me stuck restricting, overexercising, bingeing, and feeling out of control around food, I realized I needed a new automatic thought.  So I started doing this:

Wake up.  I’d calmly recognize the automatic thought my ED had trained me into to restrict / overexercise / have fear foods –> then I started to train myself into a new automatic thought that helped me focus on the present moment by saying (sometimes out loud and sometimes in my head), “i’m going to listen to my hunger and fullness cues and cravings today.  All foods are protein, carbs and fat, so there are no bad foods.” –> then repeat this to myself as I encountered challenging eating situations throughout the day.

At the time I didn’t realize what I was doing or recognize this as a mindfullness practice, but looking back that is exactly what it was…it was something that grounded me and kept my automatic thoughts from wreaking havoc on my mental health and physical health.  

For at least 3 months I’d wake up and start my day countering the unhelpful automatic thought that was keeping me stuck.  

2. The best quote I saw this week.

3. Half-caf Vanilla Lattes

In the first trimester and beginning of the second trimester lattes sounded so unappetizing.  Now that we’re nearing the third trimester, lattes have never sounded better.  I love getting a latte to create coziness for myself on a random weekday afternoon.  

4. Center for Discovery Dinner

Last night I attended a dinner to learn more about Center for Discovery’s (a eating disorder recovery treatment facility) new binge eating disorder (BED) track.  Aaron Flores, who is the dietitian on the great podcast Dietitian’s Unplugged, played a big role in planning the content for the new track.  While not everyone who struggles with BED is in a larger body, the program will promote recovery by changing behaviors associated with binge eating…instead of focusing on weight.  Since weight isn’t a behavior.

For dinner we ate at Mia Bella and had yummy apps…

A delish crab cake…

A salmon + lemon risotto + grapefruit dish (which i’ve got for leftovers for lunch today yay!)

And vanilla bean gelato…

5. Theo’s PB cups!

Have you guys tried these? I had them this week and thought it was more tasty than Justin’s! The PB texture inside reminded me of a Reese’s but the chocolate tasted better than Reese’s chocolate.  What do you think?

15 comments on “5 thoughts”

  1. Thank you for sharing these! I love that quote, and all of the food looks amazing. I believe I have tried those peanut butter cups, but I need to again for good measure! ;)

  2. I am currently in a place of being so close to fully recovered yet not comfortable with my body. I had my second baby 8 months ago and find myself having near constant feelings of being unsatisfied with my body. I have to change the direction of my thoughts and break the habit of waking up each morning with a negative thought about my body. My body is different than before my pregnancy but I have to keep reminding myself that I was still in a place of planning and controlling food choices at that point where now I am much more intuitive and recovered. Thanks for the helpful post as always! :)

  3. What do you use to make your graphics like the brain at the beginning of the post?

  4. I love Theo’s peanut butter cups!! I ate them for an afternoon snack a while ago and loved them. I need to buy them again!

  5. I so needed this post today! :)

    I have been feeling discouraged in dealing with some harmful automatic thought patterns. So hearing how you learned to tame yours over time is sooooo inspiring to hear. Thank you for your honesty!!

  6. Ok this is weird because JUST last night my husband and I were talking about “wrong thoughts” that we have and how to replace them! I love how committed you were/are to mindfulness and I really enjoy reading your tips. Also I haven’t tried the Theo PB cups but I loooove the ones from Trader Joe’s!

  7. Love these types of posts. I’m almost two years into intuitive eating after disordered eating and I still have those thoughts that I almost don’t recognize until I am acting out the behavior, like avoiding a food or looking up a workout. Sometimes it takes me a while as I’m into the behavior before I realize I’ve had a provoking ED thought. So sneaky! Would love to hear more of your thoughts on that if you ever get inspired about it.

    Love Theo PB cups! If your family ever comes to Seattle, you should come take the Theo chocolate tour! Another peanut butter cup I thought was amazing is called Unreal. They are delightful and so creamy.

  8. Chocolate PB cups are my favorite candy! I love the dark chocolate ones from Trader Joes, but I should give these ones a try!

  9. Have you ever had the Trader Joe’s PB cups? Those are the best I’ve ever had, but I never tried the Theo’s! I love their chocolate bars though, so I definitely should.

  10. The quote you shared aligns with so much of what I’ve been working on for myself in the last month or so. And the brain space/mindfulness? TOTALLY connected with that. I sometimes think back to who I was and realized I must have been a pretty boring friend to be around. While I’m still having days with where I am at now, I am such a happier person!

  11. I’ve never had Theo’s! Always been a fan of Justin’s. Recently tried Unreal. Have you had those? Pretty tasty! I think I like them better than Justin’s. I will have to try Theo’s! :)

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