1. Before having kids I never saw myself as a stay-at-home mom, but I did visualize myself being with my kids at home a lot. And, I visualized me working at a non-kid related job. I have this. I work part-time. I’m still sensitive around this though. Comments a person will make of, “oh, you work part-time.” Some parts of me are terrified of me not being seen as a hard worker. My friends who stay home full-time say that get the same with, “oh, you don’t work?” Navigating motherhood is hard and confusing and just typing this makes me feel like I need to go to a slow flow yoga class. Blahhhhhh.

2. Conversations with Ella (4 years old) last week as we were trying to get out the door in the morning:
Me: “Ella, have you seen my wallet? It’s not in my purse.”
Ella: “Yes, I put it outside last night in case the Ice Cream Truck came by.”
Andrew: “ahhhhh”
*we all run outside*

We encourage the girls when they take initiative. This is an example of that parenting approach backfiring lol. And, yet, there was my wallet. In the flowerbed. Soaking wet from the sprinklers, but otherwise untouched.

3. I was texting my mom friends that I was having a hard time (re: children fighting, summer schedules, lack of listening, feeling little success, stomach bug decimating me) and one sent the below video. It gave me some encouragement and I also balled my eyes out at it.

4. Tolerating discomfort does not mean I can’t function. But, shit, I’m tired and overwhelmed.

5. I’ve been saying I wanted a basketball hoop for months and I found one used on Facebook and Andrew went and got it for me. I started thinking about it because 1) I love basketball. I played from 7th to 10th grade and it was very fun until it wasn’t anymore and 2) I’ve found that bilateral stimulation (which can be a lot of things, but in this situation, dribbling a basketball) is maybe the most regulating of all the tools I’ve found. On the nights when the evening with kids gets overwhelming (so, every night), I take a kid or two and we go out. Leah hangs in her bouncer car thing on the sidewalk. Our street is shaded with trees for some relief from the heat. We do better outside.

6. My oldest starts Kindergarten this year, so I went over the sex basics with her. We are using this book series. But, I also sing a good deal of Celine to them (that music video is so cringy). You have to learn about sex some way…may as well be with Celine coming along with us! Music is art! I’m kidding a little here, but I do really think that anything that creates the opportunity for conversation is good. Also, this was a win, one of my girls ran into the basketball goal and yelled, “ouch, I hurt my vagina.” She said it with no shame and just as a matter of fact. It felt like a parenting win! I took a moment to bask in a sense of, “ah, my work here is done.” Not really, but you know, gotta take the wins when you get them.

7. Speaking of songs, this is our anthem lately. The big girls know nearly all of the words. It’s awesome. That, Let it Be by The Beatles and Mexican Wine by Fountains of Wayne (which I change the words to) are the current bedtime song lineup.

8. Leah turned one. I can’t wait to she who she is more and more over the next year.

9. My floors have never been so clean. Ella loves to mop. I’ve had to get over wanting to vacuum first or the annoyance of filling up/empyting the mop bucket or someone is going to slip…and am just letting her mop everyday. There are worse hobbies!

10. I am so into tennis lately. Not playing it, watching it! I actually have never played. I can’t wait for the US Open to start in a couple weeks. I got into it when Leah was a newborn and I would watch Wimbledon and then the US Open into the lonely, wee hours of the night. I learned how the score works (which I never knew before) and so enjoy it now.

Thanks for reading:) I hope you have a nice end of your week and that something good happens to you today!!